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How come every time I go in the Jewish community, someone has to come over to me and tell me that I’m doing wrong? I thought we follow the teachings of “don’t judge your friend until you reach his place”. Yet I’m always finding that while I’m working on being a better me, on building a stronger connection with our creator and the beautiful world we were put in, someone randomly that I don’t know, dressed in Jewish uniform, comes over to ask for my attention and ends up pointing a finger my direction. Not realizing the other three fingers in their hand are pointing to themselves. I find it very frustrating that I don’t get what people want from me, when they keep causing me pain and distracting me from growing in self love and building a connection with my creator. Nothing here comes without hard work, yet all my hard work gets torn down by people who aren’t putting in the work themselves on their lives. People died and still die to allow for a better world, more opportunities than we had before. When my time and effort in self improvement gets wasted by a distraction, the lives that were lost creating opportunities for people like me, are being disrespected as well. Opportunity that I really appreciate, life that I am learning to love, all being disrespected and devalued. By people who want me to believe they want help and want to help. Life’s not easy for people like me, yet so many around me don’t get it. It’s not what you have that matters. It’s not what you do that matters. What matters is what you do with what you have. We have opportunities we never had before. I just want to be the best me I can be. Please stop sabotaging my life. I guarantee you, we all want to be connected with love and kindness. Show it, instead of being mean and hateful. Don’t judge me negatively, I don’t want to return that favor.
What are they criticizing you for?
How does eating treif on Yom Kippur help you achieve a stronger bond with your creator?
Cause there’s also a Jewish halacha law to prevent another Jew from sinning and stop him before he sins.
There’s also a Jewish halacha law of giving mussar to your loving brother-yes of course nicely with love. The Torah says we are all responsible for one another. Hocheach tocheich es amisecha….. And if you don’t stop and prevent someone from sinning then it is on your account and the person who watched the person sin and didn’t stop him is held responsible.
So at the end of the day all yidden love one another and when they see you they can’t just walk by and say nothing but there’s even Jewish laws responsible to stop and say something or else be punished for the sinners sins.
May Hashem give you lots of Hatzlacha in all your needs.
Iyk,
I see all the pain you are going through and I’m sorry for that and I’ll try to pray for you to get through it
There are a few things that I’ve learned so far in life
1) you can only change yourself
2) people that can’t or don’t want to see that are spiritually sick
3) they need your prayers and blessings
I hope this helps you through your journey of life
You don’t want to be judged by others, yet you seem to be doing exactly just that. I don’t know you personally, so I cannot acuse you of anything other than what you have admitted. The fact that you believe you have a better connection to the Almighty than others is clearly reflective of a tremendous gaavah (haughtiness).
There are few things which we can say about an individual that the Creator hates him. Unfortunately for you (and tragically), gaavah is something that Hashem hates someone for. You might want to reevaluate your loving connection with the All Merciful, especially before so harshly condemning others who are moser nefesh to keep the mitzvos.
Someone who is upset over open violations of basic Torah law being done by someone who looks like a member of the community, without knowing whatever circumstances led you to this behavior, is not being judgemental. I’m sorry to be blunt – if you’re committing sins in full view of others, that is very different from what you do in the privacy of your home, it is a chillul hashem in the literal definition of the term and if someone cares about the Torah they will not readily be silent. Whatever reason you may have is not my business or anyone else’s; what is their business is that you’re doing something antithetical to Hashem’s will right in front of them, “in your face” type of thing.
Think of something you care about… what would you do if you saw a person hurting a child? Would you stand idly by and say “it’s his choice, I’m not going to judge”. “If someone was screaming racial slurs, would it not bother you enough to speak out? When it’s something you care about, you speak up – as rav chaim brisker used to say “when it hurts, you scream”
That doesn’t mean that everyone who rebukes you is doing the right thing. Often rebuke is fueled by less-than-holy motivations of knocking down others to make one’s self feel better about their own lack of self esteem.
Judgementalness is to judge you – or anyone else – as either being a tzadik or a rasha. Has anyone called you a rasha? If they have, they are mistaken. It is not in our ability to judge individuals, but we are obligated to judge actions and to stand up for kovod shomayim when applicable. One who does not protest chilul hashem is held accountable, as “silence is like admission”.
Hashem should help remove your pain and trauma and help you do teshuva shlaima, as you are his beloved daughter, the same as all of us.
What brings us close to hashem is mitzvos. Nothing else. The very word mitzvah relates to “tzavsa”, “connection”. Any other connection is imagined and psychological. So yes, fasting on yom kippur brings you close to hashem because he gave us the commandment to do it. Any objections you have to the practices of the kosher industry may be valid, but they do not permit you to eat non kosher food.
IYK
YOU wrote
“I learnt how much there is for me, by looking inside for the truth, by feeling what I wanted for myself, understanding that if I don’t like pain, it’s not possible that our creator wants me in pain either.”sometimes Hashem Punishes the righteous people while living in yhis temporary physical world so that they can be completely righteous when they come up to the true world above and that punishment is for their benefit. There are other reasons why people go through hard times in life besides for being tested in their faith and trust in Hashem. Upon which when passing the test it brings you closer to Hashem and brings you higher to another test of a higher level of faith so you can keep on getting closer and closer to Hashem.
May Hashem always be there for you when you call out to him for help.
To everyone (except for IYK)
אל תדין את האדם עד שתגיע למקומו
Additionally,
גדול עבירה לשמה ממצוה שלא לשמה
It seems like IYK is doing עבירות לשמה what does that mean? To come closer to Hashem as opposed to doing mitzvos because that’s how he was brought up (I’m assuming iyk is a he as opposed to someone else that assumed iyk is a she)
I have heard in the name of Rav Avraham Twerski that if an addict needs to make a call on shabbos or Yom Tov he’s allowed to because that is פיקוח נפש the same can be applied here
IYK,
I think R Akiva disproves what you’re saying
He was able to see Hashem’s Goodness through his “pain” (fox leaving the heichal, saying אחד when he’s being killed, כל דעבד רחמנא לטב עביד)
IYK, I understand your situation. When our sages commanded us to eat on Yom Kippur as our health comes before almost everything to protect our holy soul, we endeavour to violate the Torah by doing the smallest violation like eating kosher on Yom Kippur as kosher fish which has scales and fins.
Reb eliezer,
And if the person is allergic to kosher?
coffee addict, that is a new one for me. The Ramban. who was also a doctor, says by arleh that kosher is the healthiest food for us.
The month of Av teaches us that Hashem, our father, who shows through instilling pain that he has not forsaken us. Shivtecha umishentech. your rod,stick and/or your crutch console us that You have not forsaken us like a father towards his son. The Chidushei Harim says that the snake was cursed by eating dust which is around everywhere as Hashem says to it, here is your food and don’t bother me. I don’t desire your prayer.
IYK, I really feel sorry and bad about your situation. The Klei Yakar(born 1540) on the pasuk that animals will fear us explains that if we learn and keep the Torah, we climb above animals that were created for our benefit and we become entitled to consume them at least on shabbos and yom tov which instills enjoyment for us.
Iyk -I don’t understand why you’re assuming that connection to hashem means that we would automatically be in gan eden. Much of your assault on halacha and hashkafa seems to come from your own assessment of the torah ideas that you’ve either read about or been taught, but if they are leading in the direction of violation of the Torah, are you honestly pursuing the truth? Is rationalization and justification of your own shortcomings not a more reasonable explanation?
Just to clarify, the mesilas yeshorim in the first perek says that “the only “good” is being close to, connected to hashem. That’s the pasuk “veahi kirvas elokim li tov”, the only way to get that is mitzvos. Then he says that if so, all situations in this world, whether suffering or pleasure, are not inherently good or bad. Since “pen esba vekikashti veamarti mi hashem, ufen ivaresh veganavti”, “lest i become satisfied and i will deny and say “who is hashem”(i.e. forgetting that hashem is the source of the good situation) and lesr i become poor and i will steal(forgetting that it is hashem who makes us poor or rich and will provide for us even if we don’t steal).
He then addresses your question. He says that the main place for this closeness is olam haba. It was created with the perfection to sustain such an existence. However, he says one can and will attain “olam haba on this world” by doing the mitzvos and not sinning. It will be a life of connecting to hashem on our level, “shlaimu haamiti”, true perfection in his words.
That suffering is for our benefit is axiomatic in Judaism. If you would rather believe in the fake santa claus god who only gives us what we want and what we think is good, there are many idolatrous religions such as Zoroastrianism which believe in two gods, one good and one bad, which fit that horrible worldview. But Judaism says shema yisroel hashem elokeinu(lashon din, judgement) hashem (lashon mercy) echad
It sounds like you were either educated by chabad, with elevated concepts emphasized to you without teaching basics, like the mesilas yeshorim i quoted. Or you were taught not to ask questions by uneducated teachers who lack the knowledge to answer you when you were in high school. Either way you’ve come out with a mindset that if you can ask a question on a gemara or a sefer, that you have disproven it and can walk away ignoring what it says. In Yeshiva we question everything and raise contradictions all the time; this is why I was reasonably sure that you were a woman, because had you been to a Yeshiva and seen the way an average Yeshiva bochur analyzes a text yet leaves the beis medrash believing fully in the truth of what he has learned….. You wouldn’t be so quick to disregard basic torah ideas because you have a question.
honestly the mesilas yeshorim is the most fundamental work of musar and hashkafa that we have, and most of your tirades are disproven in literally the first 2 pages of the first chapter, much of which i quoted above.
Iyk,
I never said (or even implied) that you were on Rav Akiva’s level, what I am saying is that Rav Akiva shows one can still have a close connection to Hashem even with pain because you should always transform the pain into “ how is this going to help me grow”
That is the point of life, to grow as a person (both spiritually and emotionally) and if Hashem is giving you that pain he’s the one that knows you can grow (and hopefully will) grow from it
Nothing happens in this world by chance and everything that happens to you happens FOR you (the ל means both to and for)
Reb eliezer,
It seems like iyk is emotionally allergic to kosher food
One of the lessons we learn, one does not die from a question. This was based on a question to allow a married woman to remarry and consider the husband dead. We must have two winesses that testify to that effect. It also applies in Torah learning by understanding that the lack of knowledge to answer a question is a deficiency in us but not in the Torah. So what the Torah says is still true even though we can’t answer a question.
According to the above Klei Yakar, Adam Harishon did not learn Torah and therefore, was forbidden to eat meat whereas Noach was allowed as he did by recognizing the kosher. seven animals for sacrifice and the two, non kosher, not for sacrifice.
Also, an imagined utopia where there is no violence even to animals….
Animals kill each other violently every day. The world is not the way it was in gan eden, and if you want it to be so, then keep the mitzvos and bring the geulah! That’s the only way. Having imagined compassion for animals does literally nothing towards that goal. You’re seeing an effect and mistaking it for the main goal; world peace even among people isn’t s goal in itself, but a kli machzik brocho, a vessel that holds bracha for us to be able to learn and do mitzvos unfettered.
Aharon hakohen, the elitome of compassion and peace – *gasp* killed animals for karbonos!
Pinchos was given a covenant of peace for…killing a wicked man!
Your ideas of peace are to be found not in Judaism, vut5in eastern religions like buddhism…so we have Zoroastrianism for the good things / bad things, and buddhism for the fake compassion towards “all living things” and superficial peace and love, all “based” on some reading of little medrash says….
Lovely
I’m so sorry for what you going thru IYK.
Remember ‘its never too late to correct your mistakes’ and ‘a Tzadik falls 7 times but still gets up.Someone in Klal Yisroel that feels your pain
I am not sure if the OP is a troll, an attempt at getting twisted subliminal messages across while posing as a ‘victim’ or a legitimate victimized individual.
In either case, the premise that connection to Hashem is what one decides it to be is contrary to what Hashem himself has stated. Hashems will is the Torah (written and oral), What you believe to be true, is not what Hashem says is true.
The fact that you are using the alleged suffering you bore as a justification for violating Hashem’s rule, makes it pretty clear that you have a decent understanding of right and wrong, and you are using an excuse to justify the wrong your doing.
I was trying to read your posts objectively, but you gravitate from complaining about people being judgemental (which you are guilty of, as was pointed out by others), to explaining your reasoning for making up how one is connected to Hashem.
If you have personal issues, that is something you need to deal with, and I hope you get help with that, but that does not afford you a license to change Hashem’s word.
In creation what was created before was for need of what was created later like a prepared table. Water was for the plants, plants were for animals and animals were for humans.
As to connecting to animals – everything, every object and plantsnf animal has a spiritual source that can communicate. That is why we have seforim that say that there is “sichas dekalim”, talk of the palm trees – according to IYK, we should not eat fruits or vegetables, because if trees can talk then surely they feel pain when you cut them down or tear off their limbs….
Rather, the same way in perek shira, every living thing “sings” to hashem, so too inanimate objects…they all have a “sar” or spiritual component that is sentient. Animals themselves however, are not. They are programmed and have no neshoma, soul, free will, or what we would call emotions…they are a bag lf chemicals that react to stimuli.
Compassion to them, say the rishonim, are not because hashem cares about their pain (anyone who says that shiluach haken, sending away the mother bird before taking the eggs, is due to Hashem’s compassion, is only mistaken – gemara says this word for word), but rather for our own sake, that if we violate the laws of tzaar baalei chaim, and unduly hurt animals for no reason, we are building a trait of cruelty in ourselves that will affect how we deal with people. Causing pain for a purpose, whether it be for food, korban, medical research, etc…is perfectly fine and indeed a mitzvah.
This is what happens when you learn medrashim seriously with the meforshim.
On the topic of consuming meat, the Torah (Hashem’s law) allows us to eat meat. The Creator that created the world from nothing, created man and animal, allowed man to consume the animal.
Shechita minimizes the pain to animals when killing them, but if Hashem cares for any pain in animals how can we kill them?
2scents, don’t forget the gemora, am haaretz assur lechol bossor which I explained above with the Klei Yakar.
Thank you iyk,
I don’t know how to deal well with praise (I have my own demons to take care of)
On the topic of R Akiva’s emotional pain he got up from the deaths of his 24,000 talmidim while not questioning Hashem and accepting that כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד whether it was physical or emotional
Everything, and I mean everything, happens for our benefit (Hashem is the טוב ומיטב לכל and absolutely nothing happens outside of His will)
IYK,
I am sorry if what I wrote hurt your feelings. I dont know who you are or what happened to you in the past, whatever that may be I do hop you get help and are able to heal.
That said, I did take issue with what it seemingly was implied by your posts.
About some of Hashems commandments being arbitrary. While what happened to you might have hurt you to the point where eating on yom kippur and eating non kosher seems ok, the Torah says otherwise. So when some point that out and refuse to accept your subjective interpretation of what Hashem wants, and calls you out for publicly making up what Hashem has said, is not judging you as a human being.
IYK, Hashem gave the power to change nature, if required, to Torah learners as the Torah is above nature. We don’t worship nature as it is a creation of Hashem.
Hashem loves those who learn his Torah and gives them strength to change nature.
The Tzetil Katan says that our assignment for this world is to change our own natural behavior.
I heard a story from the daughter of Rav Yonasan Steif ztz’l where his student was called in to the draft in Hungary. He went to him and he gave him an incantation to say before seeing the doctor found in the gemora Megilla, the goats in the slaughter house are fatter than me. Once he said that, his hands developed the sign of leprosy. The doctor said, you are coming to infect us, get out. As he went outside, the whole thing disappeared and his hands got cured.
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