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IYK
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As far as the depression goes, there is something that worked a bit for me to be happier, that may be helpful for you if you like to connect to Torah for inner strength. I used to lain on my own the shir hashirim with the niggun when I felt depressed and somehow, it made me happier. It might help others, I don’t know because I was never told about it before. It was something I found out on my own. It might be worth a try…