Ctlawyer, I understand her emotional reaction and social environment. I am just trying to look at it from first principles:
– being asked to teach is a great honor. Shabbos ~ 60 – when Hillel corrected bnei Betira, he started teaching them (and then made a mistake of being too haughty).
– Were they rude, yes? imagine, you get a call at 3 am from Nobel committee (as it often happens, I hear). Rude, yes, but I bet you’ll accept the prize. Was the guy asking Hillel about Ethiopians’ feet rude and a racist? yes, but Hillel answered.
– it actually makes sense to presume that she is capable to teach. Honor of talmid chacham applies to his spouse: when his wife comes in, you need to get up. R Nachman sent geese into the courtroom so that everyone jumps and it will not be visible that he gets up for the lady, so that others will feel he will judge in her favor
– you can’t charge for Torah, but you can for missing time. So, at minimum, she could have agreed and suggested a price, confirmed by her receipts (without firm profit and maybe a nice 10% discount).
– a little pushing it: she could have just given a class and sent a bill. This is based on halakha that when you hire someone and do not ask for a price, you should pay reasonable rate that the person will charge.
– And take them to beis din if they don’t. I would be shocked if a shul would not value Torah at a measly $200.