There’s something terribly backwards here, and the system is part of the confusion. It may be nice for someone who has both a daughter and money to seek a boy who would be supported through kollel. It is quite another for boys to implement all the external trappings that they are the targets of these aidem seekers. That’s not their job. And most walk themselves into fantasies that fail them. I have known many of these disappointed souls who are more enamored with the image of the “learning boy” than they are with the learning itself. They should be pursuing wherever life takes them. If their Ahavas Hatorah is noteworthy, the wealthy shver will find him. Otherwise, they may sell themselves into a crash. That’s the backwards system. There is no obligation to make “klai kodesh” a career. Our tanoim and amoraim include a great many whose lifestyle was being “working boys”. Their dedication to learning was not the kollel label. Their product is studied by the “learning boys” of today. We have a label problem that is misdirecting boys and fooling gorls.
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