a few points;
1. so the chossons parents are arguing over $ 350 – after the kallas side is paying an extra approx 5000 ?
2. and for what sushi & salami?? its true that people coming for kabolas panim need to eat something its supper time people drove in… but these are not the filing items like sesame chicken & rice…
3. context & flexibility; there are 2 general rules , different people spend money on diff. things because to”THEM” its important and worth it so for one mechutan sushi is more important than a lady photographer.. and to the other a nuttery station in NECESSARY – so whoever really wants it pays the extra & do it besimcha
rule 2 – which side has more money , if you do, be happy to be the “TZINOR” , thats your way of saying hodu lashem on the shiddduch , to start by helping the other tzad.
imagine choson kallah on the thursday phone call … my parents.. sushi, carving … 350$$$ – the satan has plenty of ways to shter a simcha…
to end w a short vort from the bobover ruv zatz”l. the gemora brings a proof that you can use money to make kiddushin & get married from the story of efron selling a burial plot to avrohom . the ruv explains that there was something unique about that transaction with a lesson to marriage and that is as follows . efron & avrohom walked away feeling they got the better end of the deal ; efron 400 silver pieces for an empty field what a deal ! and avrohom a mokom rau for the mearas hamachpela – a bargain . thats should be the attitude for each side to feel ,
as rav pam would say in yiddish “ver zogt az du darfst chapen der metzia by yenem, efsher darf yene chapen dee metzia by deer.
