health: how do I rely on my local posek for life and death questions? I’ve only once had to ask such a question. I asked my Rav at the time, and he asked to speak to the doctor to get some details. We gave the doctor permission to speak to him, and he got the required information. He was able to give us a psak.
I did once have a very complex shailah, although it wasn’t dinei nefashos. I asked my Rav, who told me he couldn’t answer it. He suggested I ask Rabbi Willig. I called Rabbi Willig, who told me, “I’m not touching that shailah with a ten-foot pole! The only Rav in America who should pasken that is R’ Dovid Feinstein. Ask him!”
I spent weeks trying to reach him, until my Rav actually met him at a funeral. He was able to ask the shailah, and get an answer for me.
A good Rav should know when he could and when he can not answer a question. If he can’t answer, he should be able to refer you to someone else who can answer it.