The Future of שָׁלוֹם עֲלֵיכֶם Handshaking with Social Distancing

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee The Future of שָׁלוֹם עֲלֵיכֶם Handshaking with Social Distancing

Viewing 24 posts - 1 through 24 (of 24 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #1849107
    Joseph
    Participant

    What does the indefinite future hold in store when giving your fellow Yid a hartzige שָׁלוֹם עֲלֵיכֶם and handshake in the new age of social distancing where elbow bumps replace the traditional handshake?

    Is a six-foot separation the new normal henceforth?

    #1849163

    I hope not!

    #1849165
    Someone in Monsey
    Participant

    Coronavirus or no coronavirus, the reality is that shaking hands is inherently unsanitary. Not only that, it may not even be a Yiddishe minhag. It’s something the goyim do and not even all goyim, at that. Look at the way Gedolim and Chassidishe Rebbes greet each other – it’s with minimal hand contact. It may well be that even that is something that is rooted in goyishe culture. Can’t be certain about that, but it’s entirely possible.

    If you start to think about all the things you do with your hands, and all the things you touch, you realize hands can be quite unclean. Then, if you start to think about those same things on other people’s hands…it’s unpleasant, to say the least. I began washing my hands as soon as I entered my house years ago, long before today’s troubles. It’s because I realized that the outside world is filthy and was the last thing I wanted to allow into my home. I hadn’t graduated to avoiding handshaking, as it was socially rude, but now, the rules have changed. It’s for the best, I think.

    #1849168
    Joseph
    Participant

    SiM: Many Yidden, especially Sefardim and Chasidim, kiss the godol’s hand rather than shake it.

    #1849170
    ubiquitin
    Participant

    “Look at the way Gedolim and Chassidishe Rebbes greet each other – it’s with minimal hand contact.”

    You obviously don’t spend time with Sefardim or ungarisher Rebbes. I cant wait to kish di Rebbe’s Hant when this is all over

    #1849176
    rational
    Participant

    “Not only that, it may not even be a Yiddishe minhag”

    Ouch. Shaking hands is quite Jewish and is as old as the earliest Rishonim and possibly the Gemara. See the Rosh’s quotation of Rabeinu Hananel on BM 74a. We mention it in hatarat nedarim. It is a symbol of agreement and often has far-reaching contractual obligations associated with it. As a Jewish social gesture, it affirms religious solidarity. It would be quite unfortunate if it becomes extinct.

    וגם הנעשה בתקיעת כף

    #1849186
    Old Crown Heights
    Participant

    Instead of a handshake people should say sholem aleichem along with two tenuos of the yeshivishe thumb. The respondant says aleichem sholem with two slightly larger tenuos of the thumb.

    #1849205
    RashbiJr
    Participant

    Actually the minhag in Sanz and other galitzian shtetlach were not to shake hands at all (except for specials times like erev yom kippur, etc.)

    #1849230
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Reb Yosef is correct: Kissing the Rebbe’s hand is a lot more efficient way of spreading any infectious disease rather than simply shaking hands.

    In reality, there will obviously be real changes in salutation and recognition behaviors, at lease for the near-term. There are many ways to show kovod for your rebbe, w/o direct physical contact. That is just as much for the Rebbe’s well-being as your own.

    #1849251
    Joseph
    Participant

    Perhaps some will adapt the Japanese system of giving the person a bow.

    #1849246
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    My rebbi, the Matisdorfer Rav, when kissing the hand, pushed it away from humility.

    #1849294
    Forshayer
    Participant

    Sfardim, when they greet each other hold up their right hand with the palm facing them. When I travel overseas and daven with the Sfardim and offer my hand they look at me as if I’m from outa space.

    #1849303
    Joseph
    Participant

    Forshayer: The minhag when greeting the Rishon L’Tziyon (as well as other Sefardic gedolim) is to kiss their right hand.

    #1849326
    Billywee
    Participant

    In most cultures it was used as a sign of peace. Most people are right handed and carried a sword. By extending an empty right hand you were showing you meant them no harm. By responding with your empty right hand you showed you were also not a threat.

    #1849331
    Forshayer
    Participant

    Joseph: Your original post was about shaking your fellow Yid’s hand not the Rishon L’Tziyon or a Sfardy Gadol. I do admit that the first time I would arrive into the Shul in Kowloon HK and I would see Harav Meoded I would give him a big hug, but that’s not what my post was talking about. Here in Forshay a lot of people will have to think twice about kissing the Rebba’s hand, not sure what the future will hold with regards to that practice.

    #1849359
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Forshayer: I suspect that for the indefinite future, we would be showing MORE kovod to our rabbonim and gadolim (as well as one another) by foregoing handshakes, kissing the hands, hugging etc. and simply engaging in a slight bow of the head or other non-contact recognition.

    #1849360
    couch potato
    Participant

    Once it’s over why should I be getting different than before

    #1849408
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Couch: You say “once its OVER”….I’m not sure what that means since the virus is not going away. It will be substantially MITIGATED once we have both a vaccine with high efficacy (about 15-18 months away according to every expert except the Trumpkopf) and a real time ability to test and contact trace. Right now we have tested less than 1 percent of the population and public health officials acknowledge they the resources to do meaningful contact tracing.)
    Yes, b’yh, we will return to some degree of normalcy but there will be some common sense changes in our behavior even after we have vaccines and testing.

    #1849438
    yehudayona
    Participant

    Couch potato, what makes you think this is the last pandemic? Even when there’s a COVID-19 vaccine and everybody (except anti-vaxxers) gets it, there’s always a chance that another pandemic will pop up. I kind of like the idea of hand shaking becoming a relic of the past. It eliminates the problem of people of the opposite sex extending their hand expecting you to shake it.

    #1849489
    Joseph
    Participant

    YY: That’s (opposite gender) a non-issue among Yidden giving a שָׁלוֹם עֲלֵיכֶם handshake.

    #1849505
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    New minhagim on “greetings” will be the least of our problems going forward. I think many are underestimating the changes that will be necessary for the near term in many aspects of our daily lives, some of which may be temporary changes and others, long-term. Does anyone really anticipate 80,000 yidden packing into MetLife stadium later this year to hear about the evils of the internet? Maybe they could do a “virtual asifah on Zoom”.
    More seriously, there will be substantial challenges to many Mosdos that will have to deal with newly imposed costs at a time that revenues and fundraising will be challenged. More spacing and social separation, even in the short term, will require physical changes to facilities and possibly lower limits on attendance in schools and Simcha halls. New protocols in medical and dental offices will have costs as will more frequent testing and vaccinations (assuming we have one available next year). Even grocery stores may limit their “fresh” produce options and salad bars and move towards more pre-packaged foods and produce to limit handling. These all come at a cost.

    #1849513
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    I’m talking purely from my impression of humanity and nothing else – i don’t see anything changing when these barn doors open. People will have an emotional need to put this fear laden time behind them and continuing a fight with a microbe that may or may not still be a threat won’t cut it for most people.

    The high risk people will probably live more fearfully, but most people who probably already had it and moved on will be chomping at the bit to pretend life goes on. And i believe it will. Our insides might have matured but on a societal scale i would be shocked if anything looks different.

    #1849839
    Reb Eliezer
    Participant

    The word ידיד friend is יד to יד which is כח strength.

    #1849853
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    I vote no more handshaking, period.
    No alternative fist bump or elbow bump.
    No heel of the shoe touch.
    Just personal boundaries.
    Professional boundaries without touching.
    Also no kisses on the cheek even if it’s the same sex.
    I’m not a fan of forced social touching.
    The end.

Viewing 24 posts - 1 through 24 (of 24 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.