Mrs. S, I’m sure it is very difficult to watch your husband drifting from his roots. In addition the insecurities and lack of certainty that comes along with it. You have four children together and this is not easy.
It’s important to note that Judaism is incredibly powerful and beautiful. I’m sure that there are elements of Judaism that still very much appeal to him. If we were able to pull away enough layers it will uncover the strong connection he has to the aibeshter.
Since you’re asking, I would suggest two things. First, to work on your relationship with him. I’m not suggesting in any way, that a weakness in the relationship, or anything like that, is causing him to drift. He’s a grown man and is responsible for his own actions. That being said, strengthening the relationship is probably the most powerful thing you can do.
Second, please don’t judge him. I’m not justifying his actions. Nor am I suggesting that you endorse his behavior. It’s that Removing judgment will allow you to have true empathy. His feeling that U are empathetic will likely cause him to be more open to your suggestions and work things out together.
Posting this must have taken a lot of Courage. I commend you for that. The aibeshter should bless you, your husband and your four beautiful children with heath, parnasah and a loving supportive family unit.
Hatzlachah!