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ברכות נג,ב
The Ikar havdalah on motzei shaabbos is the brocho. So a person can make havdalah even if he has no candle or besomim except on Yom Kippur where the candle is part of the havdalah as we show that there is a difference regarding the candle on Yom Kippur and after in its use. A person can make havdalah for motzei shabbos until wednesday morning and without the candle or besomim.
This question of besomim or the candle coming first might be that besomim is for the outgo of shabbos which comes before lighting the candle or the sight of the light which is automatic before the smell.
Is the one making the brocho equivalent to the one answering Amen or the one answering is greater? You can’t answer Amen without a brocho but a brocho without validation is like a day without sunshine.