Fine, you guys disagree with Chazal. You think that they when they said that you are chiyuv misa if you delay past 19 they were being old-fashioned. You also believe immaturity is hetter to delay (unlike the Chazon Ish, Rav Aharon Leib Steinman and the Chida [the Chida adds “don’t say such kulos regarding something that your Olam Haba depends on).
You also believe that you are allowed to delay past 19 for financial reasons (unlike the Chofetz Chaim [Sefer Nidchei Yisrael, ch. 25], Rabbi Chaim Berlin [Even Haezer, siman 3], Rav Chaim Palachi [Tochachas Chaim], Rav Hillel Kalimaeir [Sefer Eis Laasos]). You also believe that your son learning in Yeshiva somehow makes him more financially secure. I still must ask you: If you would know that the old way for YOUR OWN DAUGHTER TO EVER GET MARRIED would be for your son to start young, would you still delay your son. Or would you realize that your initial assumption — that your son isn’t “ready” — is based on no evidence and isn’t worth your daughter remaining an Aguna.
Yet, when it comes to someone else’s daughter you are quite eager to posit any possible boich sevara to jeopardize her chances from ever getting married.
Now, regarding the claim that we are scaring bnos yisrael, that is incorrect for two reasons. First, that is akin to claiming that we shouldn’t advertise against smoking or obesity because we are scaring people. Second – and this is the essential point – girls aren’t scared by the numbers. They are scared by the fact that their phones are silent. WE ARE MERELY PROVIDING AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY THAT’S THE CASE! True, there are some girls – i.e., daughters of Roshei Yeshiva – whose have plenty of names. This information obviously doesn’t scare them, because the fact is that they are getting plenty of names, so they realize that they are the exception to the rule.
Listen, we all know many single women in their forties. We all know many of them. We knew this for a very long time, way before Libbi. This info is was always very frightening to all. Thanks to Libbi, we at least know why that happened. AND WE KNOW HOW WE CAN AND MUST RESOLVE IT.