Jewish children, friends, visited a shopping center in Paris France, and on the steps, a boy pulled out a ring, placed it on a finger of a girl and recited the required words. She responded to him seriously, replying “yes”.
Ashdod Beis Din Dayanim Rav David Levanon, Rav Moshe Amsellem and Rav Yitzchak Levi were asked to give a psak halacha in the case, as the girl in question lives in Ashdod. The dayanim had to decide if she is viewed as married.
The dayanim conducted an “extremely in-depth” probe, interviewing persons present at the ‘marriage’ in Paris. They questioned persons regarding the actual wording and what transpired.
The psak halacha is that the dayanim determined it was a game and not sufficient to categorize the girl as being married. The psak is reportedly related to a ruling by HaGaon HaRav Ovadia Yosef ZT”L and Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem HaGaon HaRav Shalom Mashash ZT”L.
Some of the points highlighted by the dayanim:
• The boy’s true intentions.
• The steps to a shopping center are not a proper venue for a true chupah.
• He placed the ring and then recited ‘harei at…’ instead of the reverse order.
The beis din ruled that the girl is ‘available’ and may marry without any connection to the event. That said, the dayanim warn young boys and girls to refrain from such actions.
(YWN Israel Desk – Jerusalem)
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7 Responses
How is it possible to know the boy’s true intention? He can be saying he meant it as a joke because he feels ridiculous now or he doesn’t want it to be a marriage, but he may have meant it for real at that time.
How old were they?
I remember that in America this sort of problem happened nearly every summer at Jewish summer camps. In some cases a GET was required. There was one case where the boy refused to give the girl a GET and the girl did not want one. I never heard how the story ended.
How old are they?
While they are probably too young, at the appropriate age, all young men and women should be exposed to documents discussed on the news pages of YWN in recent days describing the proposed auction of ledgers of the Beis Din constituted at Bergen Belson in 1946-47 to address the claims of the agunos whose husbands were lost and presumed niftar during the shoah. It is perhaps the most powerful statement I can imagine of the seriousness with which yidden take the institution of marriage and the depths to which we go when investigating the legitimacy of a particular kiddushin to “get it right” in accordance with halacha.
1. So they held that one has to have intent to get married (this is not really a hidush)
2. If they really want to be married, it isn’t hard for them to do so (since all they need for a valid halachic marriage is the hasan, the kallah, and something such as a ring to use for the kiddushin, and some witnesses). Unlike the goyim, NO “rabbi” or “license” is needed (though it definitely helps if one wants the government to believe you are married).
3. Does this sort of article really fall under the exceptions to Lashon Ho’Ra.
Rav Yakov Kamenetsky paskened once on a boy who put a cigar band on a girls finger and said the words. They had to have a get.
A few years ago, someone published a series of teshuvos from a 19th century London Bais Din. One teshuva involved a man who threw down something in front of a group of woman and said “Now all you ‘s belong to me”. The psak was he had to give a get to the woman who picked it up, I believe.