” Ashkenazim have been around in the tri-state area longer”
Actually no. That’s one point where I actually will bring down a proof from that shul we discussed on the other thread. The Sphardim were in NY first, back when it was New Amsterdam. Admittedly, according to wikipedia (not saying it’s for sure accurate), it was only about 200 Sphardim who would later be greeted by thousands and eventually millions of Ashkenazi immigrants.
“they are typically more chilled when it comes to stupid societal rules”
Have you considered that they just have different societal rules? From my understanding, Sphardi households, even the secular ones, are much more traditionalist than Ashkenazim in terms of the role of the woman and such. A lot of the points you bring are hashkafic, not minhagic. Yeshivish Sphardim are just as likely to be cooky about shirt color as anyone else.