CTLAWYER,
“My comment is that I find the attacks amusing. It is not limited to the CR.”
No, your comment was that you always find the attacks amusing, which indicates prior knowledge. You know what types of responses are likely to your words, and I don’t see how the results of potential onas devarim or lifnei iver could be amusing.
“but when my mother gave me her engagement diamond for Mrs. CTL SIL was seething with jealousy, claimed it belonged to her since I was not the eldest son”
Something tells me that had little to do with the diamond itself, and more about how welcome (or not) she felt in your parents’ family. Especially considering that your mother singled her out for exclusion in the will. Had the issue just been about getting a diamond, your brother could’ve easily ameliorated her feelings by buying her one.
” Just an excuse, they could not afford to have one put in, so they swam by us or my MIL.”
Actually your wife’s younger sister is acting in a very smart way. Drowning is R”L the biggest killer of children under 4 in the U.S. other than birth defects, and most of these drownings occur in unattended swimming pools. By bringing her children to your pool to swim, she gets the best of both worlds – access to a private pool and the ability to prevent access to the pool when it’s not swimming time. If I lived by close relatives with a pool and who welcomed my family to come swim in it, I would certainly not build one on my property, even if I could afford 10 of them.