A great book is Make Me Don’t Break Me by R. Moshe Gans. Please don’t take anecdotal advice from unknown entities. Find an experienced mechanech who can guide you from his extensive experience and research.
Corporal punishment works. It also has many negative effects. Some experts will say NEVER (R. Sholom Wolbe, R. Ginsberg and others, while some will say under extreme circumstances. If you hit in anger you are transgressing “pen yosef” that you may not hit someone.
When I was an inexperienced parent I sometimes hit my kids. I now create charts and rewards and at times will punish but never hit.
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