“Trying to generalize about whether chassidishe or Litvishe marriages are more or less “successful”l, “happier”, ”
I’m not sure if that was directed at me, but in no way did I suggest that. They are “different”
joseph
“My definition of their expectations is to build a bayis ne’emen b’yisroel, with all that details. A bit vague, no doubt”
A bit vague, certainly. The question is also how that bayis ne’eman looks. You say ou are familiar with “2. From the Yeshivish side.” I’m familiar with both. There are many pesukimmamarei chazal that describe the husband-wife relationship. Yeshivish shmuzin put more of an emphasis on “building a home together” looking for an “ezer kenegdo” describing the couple in terms of “rayim huahuvim” To a certain extent the Yeshivish world is looking for a partner, a friend even. To become friends you need to spend more time together, you need to have somewhat similar interests. I wouldnt quite say s NC put it that “have an actual romantic component.” since that tends to develop later among both. Chasdish shmuzin (and there are a looooot less of these, which is part of the distinction) focus more on “Vehu yimshol bach” (I dont mean this in a negative way, it is a pasuk in the torah after all) that the husband is the leader of the household A popular chazal used to describe the husband’s role is “שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים צָרִיךְ אָדָם לוֹמַר בְּתוֹךְ בֵּיתוֹ עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת עִם חֲשֵׁכָה. עִשַּׂרְתֶּם. עֵרַבְתֶּם. הַדְלִיקוּ אֶת הַנֵּר.” his role is to supervise the rest of his family’s yidishkeit. His wife cleans the home, prepeares the meals and his job is to come home and ask “עִשַּׂרְתֶּם. עֵרַבְתֶּם. הַדְלִיקוּ אֶת הַנֵּר” Of course hsi job is also to provide for her leaving her free to raise the children. They aren’t equals .
Again this isn’t better or worse per se. the nature of the relationships and thus their courtship is different.
Of course it isn’t all black and white, and of course in Yeshivish homes the husband is “head of the household” and In chasidish homes the wife isn’t just another kid .
And of course this is a generalization and their is a wide spectrum between them. Those hwo are more yeshivish have relationships more similar to those of chasidim, and their dating reflects that.
You said “Do you think Bucharian Jews conduct martial life the same way Modern Orthodox Jews do? Of course there are differences.”
what differences did you mean?