Not necessarily, knaidlach, you only get what the friends, teachers, neighbors perceive to be that person’s or his/her family’s values and hashkafa, which may not reflect what the person actually feels and chooses not to share. It’s always a good idea to talk about these important things directly, and not just rely on what others think (e.g. does he really want to learn full time, long-term, or is that just what his rosh yeshiva wants for him? She looks tznius in public, but maybe she actually struggles with conforming to tznius standards, and will find it hard when society is not looking and judging her? He wants to grow/take on more halacha/learn more than he has until now, and more than is the norm in his current circles/enviornment, etc.)
If these are important topics to you, they will come up naturally in the course of the conversation (you may express how you feel about learning, then gauge her reaction, comments; you can talk about the way your Rebbe is mechanech his kids, and ask what she feels about it, discuss how you are bothered by, or passionate, about x or y or z, and see if she feels the same. Don’t turn it into a checklist or interrogation.
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