SL: thanks for all your honest answers. I wish more people were as balanced as you.
I can only speak for the Chasidic world. Yes, SOME men need a more polite way of communicating. The sub-conscious thinking is something like “if the guy asks me for something, I’ll gladly comply, so I can simply ask for what I want, without prefacing or much thanks afterwards.” Except that this is his natural way of speaking, so he’s not thinking about it all. (I remember hearing Lipa Shmelczer mention how a professor had to teach him to start his emails with “Dear Professor”, he would just get straight to the point.) This is also part of the text message culture, coupled with a lack of Basic Writing being taught. Again, this applies mainly to Chasidic men, AND ONLY SOME. There’s a learning curve involved, and they come to the game late.