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I am responding to the OP.
I am in the modern community. YU. TV. Internet.
Just so you can have a window into who is writing: One kid is Charedi (married). One kid is Neo-Chasidic (in Yeshiva). One kid is modern (married). And two in HS. (The non HS all live in Israel).
I dont think that there is anything wrong with shielding or sheltering your kids. ALL parents, of all religions to so to a certain extent. Your “line” may be different than my line but we both have limits. This also changes with age. We treat little kids differently than teenagers. The main quesetion is what do you do when the shelter fails. (There are documentaries — you can find on YouTube that a Chasidic kids go to the Museum of Natural HIstory and is ill equiped to deal with the subject of dinasours. For me — there is nothing that we cannot deal with. With my kids — i told them all the answers i could think of ).
What i wonder about — and dont know — is the following. It seems to me that when the kids in the Yeshiva community wander away from the life style — they turn to a harsher, non-normative lifestyle. (Go on Facebook — and find a kid you know who is OTD — and see all their friends named Faygie and Blumie with pink hair and tatoos). I would guess that in the Yeshiva world it is a binary decision — yes or no. (Obviously, I am aware of “modern yeshivish”).
In the modern community — we lose our kids to college campuses — where their observance lessens or disappears. They may come back to the community at some point and be marginally connected or not at all.
Again — i have not done the study so this is purely anecdotal.
Perhaps, if the Yeshiva world — instead of sheltering their kids from the outside world, taught their kids how to engage it (or at least deal with it) — they would be better off. I dont know. (I certainly feel strongly that the Yeshiva world should educate their children so that they can support themselves in middle class jobs, law, medicine, accounting, engingeering. It seems to be a bigger problem in the Israeli world and the Chassisdic World).
A little rambling … for that i apologize.