Spanking kids

Children learn and it encourages them to behave roughly to others. Timeout is a better idea. At a later age praise them for the positive they do.

Putting kids in timeout encourages apathy hitting kids teaches them to hit not punishing them makes them overly indulge

Physical assault of another person so as to inflict pain as a “motivational” or “behavioral” outcome is still assault and likely to put you in jail or risk having your children taken away from you in certain jurisdictions. Its not clear where the line between a mild spanking and assault is crossed but why take the risk when most pediatric psychologists (frum or otherwise) say it rarely if ever has the desired outcome and is more likely to cause long-term dysfunctional behavior.

Gadolhadorah,
Stop spewing nonsense. There’s obviously a difference between spanking and abuse, any pinhead knows the difference.

The reality is that the US Supreme Court ruled that Public Schools can engage in corporal punishment, parents can definitely do their job and spank their kids once in awhile.

According to your silly logic, there’s virtually no difference between dieting and becoming anorexic, so let’s ban dieting.

coffee addict,

“Are you saying that the gaonim tannaim and amaroaim who spanked their kids had their kids turn out violent?”

There is a world of difference between “100 years ago” per your OP and the way chazal lived and did things. They are not interchangeable. Don’t look at the early 20th Century or the 1950s as some sort of gold standard.

“I understand that there is a way it should be done, with love and respect but it’s not the spanking it’s the way it’s done”

The problem is, there is almost nobody on this planet who will spank a child for the “right reasons” and in the “right way.” Spanking is almost always the last resort of impatience and frustration with a child, because it yields the “results” of submission and obedience quite effectively. The problem is, while the parent wins the short game, in the long run, submission and obedience aren’t the true results we seek. It’s proper chinuch that we want, and spanking is more often a short circuit than a shortcut to that end. A child spanked by a rageful or frustrated parent, or one embarrassed by his child’s behavior in public, will submit, will cry, and may even apologize for his behavior when that is demanded of him, but he won’t be feeling regret over his actions and a desire to do better. He will be feeling rage towards the parent, or his own humiliation and embarrassment over the spanking, not the behavior.

The Chidushei Harim says that the snake was cursed,even though dust is readily available, Hashem said told him, here is your food and don’t bother me.
If father hates his child, he ignores him. שבטך ומשענתך המה ינחמוני the fact Hashem uses his stick or provides crutches console me that He is concerned about me and has not forsaken me.

yitzchokm –
I didn’t have a chance to go through the whole thread yesterday, but I just noticed your post, and I find it a bit unsettling, mostly because I think you’re not the only one who thinks this way. So help me understand your position.

You wrote “parents can definitely do their job and spank their kids once in awhile.”

Do you mean that it is the job of parents to spank their children? That they are not doing their job if they don’t spank their children? I find it hard to believe that people seriously can think this. By that reasoning, must you hit in a certain way also? With a specific type of device? On the hands? Backside? Is there a certain frequency with which you have to hit your children? Like if you think it’s mandatory, then which parts are mandatory? Does it depend on the nature of the child or on the parent at all?

Again, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not some liberal who thinks you have to let kids control everything. And my father hit me, but I decided along with my wife not to do it with my children.

BTW, you also said “The reality is that the US Supreme Court ruled that Public Schools can engage in corporal punishment.” Whatever you think of parents hitting, do you really think it’s a good idea for schools to? Forget the law for a second. I mean do you think it’s a good thing to allow?

I’m looking for a real answer, not to stir up anything.