@Joseph
Divorced parents aren’t being held to a different standard. The court is merely setting down in its order who will pay for what part of the college costs. I have had divorcing parents agree that neither will be paying for post high school education for the children and the court puts this in the order as well, so one spouse can’t come back after the other.
Judges will look at the education and lifestyles of the divorcing couple. A judge will ask: Mr. X you have XYZ degree from ABC university, did your parents contribute towards the cost? and the same of Mrs. X. If the grandparents paid for parents’ college, it would be expected the parents pay towards children’s college.
The orders for payment are for the net out of pocket after scholarships and student loans taken out by the children, NOT the amount colleges charge.
In all cases, it is not about forcing the divorced parent to pay for what they are not legally required to do, but codifying what they have agreed to do to avoid later legal arguments and actions.
In fact, it is the custom of the courts in CT to put in the divorce order that Mr and Mrs X agree that Mr X shall pay YY% of net college cost and Mrs. X will Pay ZZ%. Costs shall be computed based on the University of Connecticut tuition, room and board fees at the time child attend school.
This way a custodial parent can’t stick it to the other by sending child to a $60,000yr private college instead of $28,000yr state university, just because 15 years ago the divorce order says daddy will pay for college.
The divorce order is merely codifying the agreement made by the parties in a manner that puts the teeth of government enforcement in play to make sure people honor the agreements.