Avi K,
“1. What about someone who does not want to be called a Yid, either because he wants to leave knows that the word is often a pejorative, wants to Jargon to philologists or is a proud non-Ashkenazi?”
That’s fine. You certainly don’t have to use the word, and you can politely request people to not use the word when referring to you. At the end of the day, however, reasonable people acknowledge that there is a diversity of cultures within the Jewish people, and have the ability to respect those cultural differences, which include language.
I find it sad that you define your identity as being “non” something. It’s better to be “for” something. Being proud of your own culture is wonderful. But do you think Hashem wants you to distance yourself from your brethren and sow discord among them? Over things like “Yidden” and “Gut Shabbos”?
“2. See Pitchei Teshuva YD 116:10 that there is an opinion that someone who does not accept an observant Jew’s word that his food is kosher is a heretic as he opposes Chazal, who said that a single witness is believed regarding prohibitions.”
Hold your heretic hurling horses there. DovidBT and knaidlach were very clearly talking about non-observant Jews.
“As for his kashrut not being up to “your standard”, what about one’s standard in ben adam l’chaveiro, avoiding mechzi k’yuheira, etc.?”
Knaidlach wrote: “achdus means that you show that any yid is special to you and you love him and you are friendly.” What more do you want? Should I eat bacon at a Reform Jew’s house to satisfy bein adam l’chaveiro? Also, doesn’t bein adam l’chaveiro include things like not making a fellow Jew feel bad for saving ‘sav’ instead of ‘tav’, or wishing someone a freilechen Purim?