Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › If Nassi is wrong, how do you explain why 1000’s of older girls are stil single? › Reply To: If Nassi is wrong, how do you explain why 1000’s of older girls are stil single?
chugibugi
I would love to hear some statistics to support your contention that there are fewer truly frum boys compared to truly frum girls. Please cite some sources.
Meanwhile, the attention of the street to OTD kids focuses on boys, not on girls. This is not because of any statistical differences, but because there are more askanim available to deal with them than with girls. Furthermore, creating yeshivos for struggling boys who would otherwise be on the street and in everyone’s faces is more luring for support than girls who struggle. Yes, this is according to many who are on the front lines working with these youth and their parents. With all the attention to this issue, there is no real dent in the availability of boys or girls, so this is not statistically meaningful.
I would urge you to make calls to some of the organizations who are involved with this issue, such as MASK and Amudim. See if they detect any differences in numbers between boys and girls.
litvishechossid:
I must differ with you. Bank accounts do not create marriages, and the lack of them do not break them. In marriages that struggle, finances can be factors of disagreement and argument. But pouring money into the bad marriage won;t save it. Putting it into a forming marriage will not dictate the connection between the couple. It might pay bills, but there’s plenty else to fight about. Just ask anyone who counsels couples in trouble. There are fools who discuss money before entertaining a shidduch prospect. I have my bone to pick with them, as they are not true maaminim in the Bas Kol, and they can easily miss the bashert for a form of greed that goes not a baby step beyond perception. Books are loaded with stories of hashgochas Hashem in shidduchim, and becoming a gatekeeper with monetary criteria is a potential for huge trouble. I know the obsession with the “learning boy” implies that the boy will not earn a penny, while the girl will support (either rich parents or she goes to work until the children enter the picture). Yet, this is close to universal, when it should not be so. But let’s not divert focus to that debate. Money is not the real issue.