The hurtful thing about this subject is that the “working boy” stands at least the same chance of maintaining a Yiddishe home, with the values of Torah as does the “learning boy”. The big difference is that the working boy approaches parnosoh as his responsibility. The learning boy is convinced that his food and shelter are someone else’s burden. I am privy to plenty of couples where the “learning boy” is basically “kvetching a bonk”, and the working boy is doing a fine job in being a star to Klal Yisroel and his family.
People need to enter the careers that are compatible with their skills and talents. These broadbrush statements that everyone needs to remain in kollel are completely irresponsible, and create far more problems than imagined. Likewise, sending everyone to work and/or college is also irresponsible. Not everyone belongs there. I envision, in my utopian reverie, that our Roshei Yeshivos would have individual, close relationships with each and every talmid, understand the range of skills and interests, and be the ones guiding these talmidim how to best utilize their potential. The myth that everyone needs to be a learning boy is not an indication of much thought to the process. This serves the interests of Roshei Yeshivos who get to have larger kollelim, but are too often a disservice to the talmid and his family.
Our community suffers from a pervasive sense of entitlement and dependency. If you approach this objectively, it is simply foolish, and definitely not Ratzon Hashem.