Yitzy, we all have hard things, but I get what you mean. I also haven’t had a simple life, and I have told people that I don’t want a boy that has just simply gone through the system very smoothly, and is just sitting and learning now because that’s what everyone else is doing and someone else pays tuition.
I wouldn’t say I’m looking for a boy with an issue, but rather a boy who has built himself up, and who he is now is only a result of his work. I think when I say this, most people that fall into this category are people who will understand me and my hashkafa, and any “issues” I do have, if that makes sense.
Regular people who have not gone through hardships. (I know of quite a few) are people that have simply just gone through the school system and haven’t thought much about where they are.
I went out with a boy who didn’t have any “common problems” with me, but he was put into a situation where he was forced to re-think his life and started on the path of building himself. Such a person is self aware, understanding, and “regular” problems are just a complete different story with them as they have a different outlook on life. This was a boy I thought things could work out with, I felt he could understand who I am and my choices.
What do you say?