@ Jakob
“but don’t fool yourselves. ask yourself are you looking forward to the weekly family restaurant date & each week count the days down towards it or is it a pleasure & mitzva to make your family happy?”
If I look forward to the dessert at my friends chassuna, for which I drove 3 hours so that I can be meshtatef in his simcha, surely you aren’t saying that my intent for attending his simcha was the dessert!
I’m sure you are also not saying that we are not meant to davka avoid deriving pleasure from from the very things we are created to experience pleasure from.