I agree 100%. I try not to be judgemental of other families, however, so I shy away from saying that so-and-so an issue (e.g., wearing a hat) is objectively unreasonable. Another family may think you are unreasonable for not letting your kid fry up bacon in your pan.
Have a wonderful Shabbos!
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Your statement about other people thinking its unreasonable to not allow your kid fry up bacon is a bit extreme. Personally i can tell u that its the small and almost meaningless thing that tick a boy or girl off, such as making a big deal about hair length , black hat / no hat, dark clothing vs light clothing,s tandard size yamulka vs smaller. wearing rabaynu tam tfillin vs not wearing them. When i say mundane i mean in the over all picture its mundane on the large chance of losing your child totally. Use your brains. God gave u them for a good reason. These are for the most part where children start to get frustrated from thier parents in yiddishkiet. It may not be obvious but it does eventually. Just like every yid has a pintelle yid in him/her so to that pintelle yid can become even smaller from such mundane things as i mentioned earlier. Also many if not most people who are frum by rote confuse halacha with chumra, mesora/ minhogim / vs home made yiddishkiet. First stick to the hardcore halachos and then slow wean onto chumris.
Concentrating on chumros with out doing the halachos properly is a recipe for boys and girls going otd. Same applies to grown adults.