Look, the system is a mess regardless of what anyone tells you. It’s a mess in particular if you don’t fit the mold or have trouble pretending that you do – which is what most people who seem to fit it do. And there’s 100 ways of not fitting the mold.
Allow me, who suffered through this, to make some suggestions.
1) Be as frum as you can be. I’m not talking about driving yourself crazy or faking it. But come as close as you can to Hashem and mitzvos in a healthy way and look to Him for help with this. I have found that the more people are tied up in gentile culture, the more trouble they have getting married.
2) Either work towards serious learning or serious parnassah with kovaya itim.
3) Use all the matchmaking tools. There are singles events, websites, matchmakers, and connections.
4) Create a dating resume and hand it out.
5) Don’t take opportunities for granted. If you meet a decent girl, marry her. Don’t think somebody a little bit better is around the corrner.
6) Don’t think you have forever. Get busy with this.