Streetgeek and Mindful,
I would recommend learning Gemara from a rebbi, not simply picking up an Artscroll. Artscroll, although fantastic, cannot replace learning from a real rebbi and becoming proficient enough to learn on one’s own.
“The Rambam also writes in his Mishne Torah that a man can beat his wife with a stick (he may need permission of Bais Din, unclear from text) if she refuses to wash his feet or make his bed.”
The Rambam did not write this. This is a widely misunderstood Rambam. The Rambam is discussing marriages where the husband or the wife is not fulfilling his or her obligations to their spouse and one spouse takes the other to Bais Din to enforce the rules of marriage. (These cases are discussed in the Gemara as well). Everyone agrees that there are marital obligations that can be enforced by Bais Din through kefiyah (forcing). Rambam holds that Bais Din (not the husband or wife personally) can use kefiyah b’shotim (with sticks) to force both a man and woman to fulfill their obligations (just like they do when forcing a man to give a get or bring a korban, etc.). The Raavad on the spot argues and says that we don’t find kefiyah b’shotim against a woman, rather Bais Din is kofeh her by knocking money of her kesubah week by week until she complies.