I couldn’t get through all the posts here. But I just want to say that I very much resonate with bais yakov maidel. I am a very intellectually honest person, despite all the attempts of our culture to squish that in me. And I realized soon after getting out of BY system that I am really ignorant in Judasim . My years in school and seminaries have been largely a waste. I have not been able to invest much time in study since then, since I am a mother of many young children bh. And I feel a real void. But everything that keeps me on track is what I learned on my own, outside of the Bais Yakov system, and definitely it is nothing coming from the “Yeshivish world”. Judaism has always evolved with the times, and all the different opinions from different eras that have been passed down to us reflect the time and place in which they originated. People here have been quoting the Rambam. The Rambam also writes in his Mishne Torah that a man can beat his wife with a stick (he may need permission of Bais Din, unclear from text) if she refuses to wash his feet or make his bed. Some things from a different era just can’t work today, and some things that work for general klal can’t work for individual people. And the stubborn ideology that an opinion of a particular Rav, or a chumrah accepted by a specific community is more important than well being of a Jew, or unity of the Jewish people is destroying us.
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