IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE NESHAMA (SOUL) OF A MAN VS. A WOMAN?
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“In neshamos there is no difference. Hashem gives people different ways different opportunities to perfect their neshama. When a woman is married and she dedicates her life to others, she’s doing something that transforms her nature. It’s impossible for her to function successfully and to remain selfish.
Her main achievement is transforming her neshama by doing chesed (kindness) to Hashem’s people for the sake of Heaven.
She has all the functions of other people upon her. She has to carry children with in her, and then she has to nurse the child. She has to worry about children at night; sometimes they’re not well. She has to think about preparing food for everybody. Everything is for others.
She does it selflessly like a busy Jewish mother usually does. It’s an extremely important achievement for her neshama, and she gains perfection in that way. We don’t expect her to devote hours to Torah learning. Her main achievement is transforming her neshama by doing chesed (kindness) to Hashem’s people for the sake of Heaven. (If it’s done properly, it’s not merely done like gentiles do, but it’s done with the intention of serving Hashem.)
A man has other opportunities. A man is not limited; he doesn’t carry a child within himself. He doesn’t have to nurse babies. Nevertheless he has to do many things. He has to go out to the marketplace, make a living. And there are many nisyonos (tests) in making a living. All the laws of choshen mishpat (business dealings) apply when you have to compete with other people for parnassa (livelihood).
Therefore a man gains his perfection other ways, and is expected also to give part of his efforts to learning Torah and doing more mitzvos than a woman is able to do because she is busy. Each one gains perfection in a different way. (#791, 10 Aspects of Shabbos)”