MTAB,
Let me see if I understand. The guy asks the girl out or calls the shadchan who gives him a number. He makes the call, then must ask her out, then must travel to her, then must think of something wonderful to do and it can’t be in her neighborhood because someone might see her, then he must pay for the wonderful activity and the whole time make sure she is perfectly comfy in all ways. And if he stumbles in any these steps, then she must run because obviously he is an axe murderer. Her job is to judge him.
That’s a whole lot of whining. Look, do you want to eat? If yes, then you must find a source of income, travel to the store, pick out what wonderful foods you can find and afford, buy it, shlep it home, put it away, prepare a meal, go to the table, and eat it. And cleaning up after yourself is a bonus. The way of the world is that you have to put in effort. Does a young man want a wife? Then he must put in the effort. Be a man.
Do I have it right? Wonderful system.
What would you suggest? Going to bars like non-Jews? Have the young women call the men and set up the dates? I doubt men would fare better in that situation.
do you have sons? You want them to go through this nonsense?
Please Hashem.