“No, it is not what’s wrong with shidduchim, it is what is wrong with marriage.
if the guy finds it too much to think about and be sensitive to the girl’s needs, and only thinks about what’s good for him, then maybe he is not ready for marriage.”
And what about a situation where the girl only thinks about what is good for her. That’s what we see in the comment in question. Derech eretz doesn’t mean turning the girl into a spoiled princess.