There is a machlokes in the gemorrah between Bais Shamai and Bais Hillel
about whether or not it is in man’s benefit to have been born. The gemarrah paskens that bais shamai is correct “tov shelo nivra adam”, it would have been better to not have been born. The way I have always understood this is that if we didn’t exist, we couldn’t have been missing out on the reward. so we don’t want the reward or punishment. simple in-existence would have been perfect.
Which in theory , is an argument I plan on using achar meah v’esrim shana, and it is a philosophical question I have never seen answered well.
That said the gemarrah ends off, but now that we are here, we need to do the work we are here for.
In my experience, people who go off the derech always have a reason, and you can’t argue with that reason.
Someone in my neighborhood is currently leaving his family and kids for a secular lifestyle. His reasons, G-d created ridiculous halachas for women. Of course, his wife is very dedicated to the frum lifestyle. When I point out the hypocrisy that he is using his wife as an excuse (and she doesn’t feel “oppressed”) it doesn’t make a dent.
Hashem leads a person in the derech that he wants to go