“I think that Lilmod’s point is well made, and well taken.”
Thank you!
“However, looking at Lilmod’s lists of questions, I think there is another aspect at work here. I, and I suspect many others, have an aversion to asking shailos. As such, I simply avoid questions or I am machmir when it is not too difficult to do so.”
True, and I think that was one of the main points that I was trying to make. I was not necessarily referring to sheilahs that had actually been asked, but rather, to sheilahs that should have been asked, whether or not they were.
I agree that people are reluctant to ask sheilahs and try to avoid it.
The problem is that while, in some cases, one can just avoid the sheilah, as you said, I think that in many cases, people just try to figure out on their own what to do even when there is a good chance they may be wrong. I have definitely seen this happen.
In other cases, they will choose what they think is the “safer” of two paths, but it may not be the best choice halachically.
Another problem is that while I may choose to just not eat the potato chips, my (theoretical) child or (non-theoretical) student may not be happy with that choice. And actually, I wouldn’t be so happy with that choice either. Or someone could end up in a situation in which it’s really not an option for whatever reason. So it’s important to know the halacha in case that ever happens.
And in some cases, something was already done, when someone realized it was a sheilah. In the case of the candles, for example, I was at someone else’s house who hadn’t thought of the issue, and I pointed it out after the candles were already lit. Also, I don’t know if anyone could have realized how shaky the table was and that it would t/f be a problem until after the candles were lit.
I’m not sure that “bosis” is such a problem because I think you can just make sure that there is a bentcher on the table or that it is set before candle-lighting (making sure that there is at least one non-disposable item)
Personally, I would be reluctant because of fire hazard concerns, as well as the fact that you can’t remove the tablecloth all Shabbos.