@Mammele,
I think that lighting Shabbos Licht from 3 years old is a beautiful Minhag. If you don’t want to, then don’t. Many Gedolim felt for particular Minhagim and asked people to do them, no one’s forcing anyone. Many Yidden did used to keep this Minhag in Europe, and it’s a beautiful tradition to continue. I don’t see how this, of all things, gets you riled up. The Frierdiker Lubavitcher Rebbe (Harav Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn zy”a 1880 – 1950) asked all Yidden to say extra Tehilim after davening, I’ve never heard anyone say “but in my family/Chassidus we don’t do that”. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, no one is forcing you to change your family Minhagim.
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