First..I wish tMrs. CTL (and the rest of the CTL Mishpacha) a “nechomah” upon the petirah of her mother. May she know of no more “tzahr” only smachot.
Second: To question #2…IMHO, since the nifteres chose the place for her burial, it would seem that she may not have wanted the other stone inscribed. As to question #1, if one of your children or grandchildren would want to name their child after her, would they use the Hebrew name or the Yiddish name? If the answer is the Hebrew name, then I would suggest putting the Hebrew name on the matzeivah.