joseph: Again, you are taking my examples and declaring the position of ONE of the spouses demanding the divorce when faced with adversity and the other spouse either not consenting or unable to consent. I am NOT talking about that type of situation. I am talking about where the couple, facing trying circumstances that have affected their marriage and not caused by a mistake of either spouse, and have been to a Rav and whatever counseling demanded by their state or country of residence.
As for how to achieve SHLOM BAYIS, I heard that R’ Chaim Ozer was asked about this and he answered that when he was married he and his wife divided the household responsibilities: he would handle all the ruchniyos decisions and his wife would handle all the gashmiyus decisions. He did not recall a time that either one of them violated this agreement.