I know you asked for guys’ opinions, but here’s a girl’s opinion:
I can’t tell for sure without seeing you, but from your description, it sounds fine to me. While it’s true that sometimes people have to be careful about going to extremes, it doesn’t sound like that’s what’s going on here.
Being extreme in terms of dress would involve being so concerned about tznius that you don’t look nice. Or it could involve dressing in a way that you are not comfortable with and don’t feel is “you”.
I don’t have the impression that either of those things are going on here. It sounds to me like you are very put-together – maybe even more than most people – and like you are dressing in a way that you are comfortable with.
It also doesn’t sound like you are doing anything extreme. The things you are doing may be somewhat unusual in your community but most of them are pretty standard in most Chareidi communities that I have been in. Most Chareidi women I know wear stockings and don’t wear nail polish, tons of jewelry, or high heels. The amount of makeup varies – I find that there is somewhat of a range of what’s considered acceptable.
I understand that it is awkward to stick out, but I’m not sure what’s wrong with looking too chareidi. In any case, it doesn’t sound to me like you are doing anything unhealthy or extreme, if you are comfortable with the way you dress.
The question you should be asking yourself is: Are you asking these questions because YOU are uncomfortable with the way you dress or because you are worried about what others think?