Modesty – it sounds like you’re very self aware and sincere in your desire to change. Hashem leads us in the way we want to go.
Could you elaborate on what you said above about girls wanting to dress not tzniusly for themselves not others. Does this mean if a girl is home for the day and not going out sue will want to dress up and put on makeup and walk around the house in high heels? Id think she’s putting all this time effort and discomfort to attract attention from others. Now what kind of attention does one get by wearing tight short clothes that accentuate her figure? I think I understand that it’s about the feeling I get when I get attention. And my intention isn’t to caused others to do aveiros. But it’s the inconvenient reality that it does place a stumbling block before others by making them want to look and encouraging others to dress in the same way.
Also can’t a man claim the same thing? It’s not that I want her to do any aveiros it’s just that I like looking? But it’s assur so you can’t. Just as it’s assure to dress that way.