Dear YWN Editor and Choshuva Readers,
My phone was blowing up on Sunday morning with a video which was apparently taken inside a prominent Lakewood girls school. It is on all my WhatsApp groups and I see it has reached Facebook as well. I feel this is simply too disturbing for you to ignore.
I’m not sure if you will feel it appropriate to post the video and further humiliate these girls, so I’ll briefly describe it.
There is a line of young girls being filed past what appears to be a principal or teacher, as another woman (either the teacher or principal) sits behind the desk. The woman standing is holding a ruler in her hand, and as the children file past, she measures the children’s hair to make sure it is ‘Tznius enough’ for the standards of this holy institution.
While I do not claim to be a professional or a therapist, I can gurantee you that this is no less then straight up child abuse, and the effects of this horror will be seen in the years to come.
What Heter under the sun is there to humiliate a child this way? Where in the Torah is this allowed? Who are the Rabbonim behind this insanity? Who decided what the precise length of a child’s hair should be?
I’d also like to know why the woman behind the desk has a Shaitel that is longer then the girls hair. Who measured her Shaitel? Was she given a Heter by the ruler-wielding hair-length “Posek’es”?
Now, I have heard people say it is the school’s right to determine the length of their student’s hair. Lets take for granted that this policy of the school was made crystal clear to every single parent long before they chose to register their child at the school. If the school has an issue with a child’s hair length, it should be taken up privately between the Hanhala and the parents. How DARE this school humiliate these girls in front of their classmates and teachers.
But I can almost guarantee you, that the focus of the school will instead be to catch the person who took this video, and then cast blame on evil smartphones and social media for allowing this to get out.
Name withheld upon request – Lakewood, N.J.
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.
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66 Responses
Shame on you “theyeshivaworld” for posting this. If someone has an axe to grind with his kids school he should take it up with the Hanhala.
DISGUSTING- everyone should ban this school
Sick to my stomach
We all must have missed the part of שו’ע that discuses the length of hair as it relates to tznius. Was too busy learning the part of not being מבייש someone ברבים.
I have a bigger issue with the knee socks that the girls are wearing.
YWN shouldn’t post this letter.
It’s not child abuse, don’t overblown it.
And the school which is a very good school can have their rules!
@frdm It’s 100% child abuse, and thankfully YWN published the letter.
“And the school which is a very good school can have their rules!”
The same way we fight the Lev Tahor cult and say “no child deserves to live that way”, we should feel the same. There is no child that deserves to be humiliated this way
This post almost made me give back lunch plus a few more meals. I bet there would be attackers looking out to get me. So, I’ll explain, and await their reactions to the subject matter, no personal attacks. Remember it’s Elul.
I stand with utter awe at the ideas of exclusiveness that our yeshivos and girls schools advance with the idea that this will somehow raise the kedusha of Klal Yisroel. Measuring hair length? So we really believe that the 1/4 inch will distinguish between a girl who is tzanua and one who is apt to become a tramp? Do we really believe that the girl whose hair is a fraction of an inch longer is not capable of growing in spirituality in the school? And if a girl gets excluded, who bears responsibility for that girl’s future?
These standards were not in place when the generations of these teachers/mechanchos were in school, nor at any point in time prior to that. In what way do these administrators set higher standards that essentially places themselves in the trash can in terms of their own tznius?
Our generation suffers from a strange malady. We have delusions of spiritual madraigos. We somehow get the notion that if we create more chumros, we will achieve ever greater levels of kedusha, and gain our way into Gan Eden. There are serious problems with this. Like all delusions, they are fantasies only, and have nothing to do with reality. Sure, the words sound nice. But that falls into the completely psychotic thinking of political correctness, where words create realities that become laws, etc. Have any of these schools inquired מה ה’ שואל מעמך כי אם ליראה? Without any doubt, these same schools, if they only followed the true mission of חינוך הבנות, would look to be mekarev the girls who might wear their hair too long. If these girls were taught, not legislated by punishment and rejection, to appreciate tznius, they will become the mothers to potential gedolei yisroel.
This is not the first or last of some bizarre efforts made to “weed out” and cast away neshamos of Klal Yisroel in the name of making HKB”H happy. I am shocked to see this exclusion and rejection during Elul, when we are gearing up to face the Yemai Hadin, when we daven that HKB”H should not reject us, despite the fact that we recognize the need to klopp אשמנו so many times during Selichos and Yom Kippur. We are okay with hoping that, as בעלי עבירה, Hashem will accept us and forgive us, but that throwing out girls because of arbitrary standards of tznius continues to be consistent with Ratzon Hashem. What utter hypocrisy!
I do hope that any schools using such criteria will do their own cheshbon hanefesh before inflicting their delusions on Hashem’s precious children.
if my daughter was told she needed to cut her hair she’d be devastated – to then be told that its for religious purposes – it would be very hard for me to blame her for inevitably hating the religion. It’s hard enough as it is. The mesillas yesharim has to bring sources to justify prishus because (he quotes yerushalmi) “is hashem not shtark enough that we need to impose greater restriction?!”.
Walking down the street in Meah Shearim one can see the girls who live there with hair, albeit in a braid, down to their waist. But this school in their letter said it makes no difference how the hair is done. Are we frummer than the girls in Meah Shearim
Is it any wonder why our kids are going OTD?
It says you’re not allowed to measure hair in the same siman in Shulchan Aruch that it says how long hair can be.
The Shaitel is too long according to Halacha.
A girl’s hair length, should be part of the curriculum of the school.
If a Girl does not “get-it”, the school and the teachers aren’t giving it over properly. They need some training in that area.
No one can expect a girl to understand hair length, if teachers, principals have longer hair.
It is so typical that yidden with little hashkafa give their often severe opinions on any and all topics they truly know nothing of it. Amei haaretz, these hate-filled posts against this chareidi grioup or that Torah zelous policy etc. are essentially all anti-semitic, truly Erev Rav mentallity.
How about woman who wear sheitels that’s are long? Why doesn’t the school check the length of the faculties skirts? This is totally ridiculous. Mothers, please don’t cut your daughters beautiful hair. My daughters have over 12″ of beautiful hair. It makes them so happy. When is this stupidity going to end? There are so many more important things to worry about. How about bullying? To much homework? School supply lists? Teachers hurtful words?
100% emesvyatziv
I don’t see the issue there are lots of schools out there nobody is being forced to send to any of them and if you don’t like their policies go to a different school
Why is this different than the lice checking that most school girls go through during school year
If you are stupid enough to keep sending your kids you have nobody to blame but yourselves. When a school starts making up halachos of kashrus or Shabbos would you keep sending them? Why is this different? I don’t think people understand the negative effects it has on the kids to put them through these things.
There aren’t nearly enough schools. Say the parents decide that this is the last straw. Which school is going to take these “troublemakers” a week before school starts? Parents don’t really have a choice.
Of course the critic has whatsapp………
Everyone has their personal agendas and their personal issues. This is school policy. If you do not like it, do not send your kid to that school and if you send your kids to that school then shut up and go with it.
One thing is for sure, if the school has a rule and the parents are muttering under their breath about the rules of the school, the kids picked up on it and then they have no respect for authority either. So whose fault is that? It’s not the school, it’s the parents!
The school can make WHATEVER rules they want. All you yentas in YWN land are are just yentas.
Quit projecting your self hatred toward kids, yours any others.
I can’t believe all these women and girls are wearing makeup that makes their faces all look like computer pixels.
My daughters wanted to know why there is a school policy that forbids girls wearing booties and yet booties has been the most popular winter footwear in Lakewood the past few years. As such, the vast majority of teachers in the same school were all wearing booties. Now, what does this teach the children? Hypocrisy, double standards if you ask me.
I am a proud parent of the school. First we chose to send our kids to a school because we value their hashkofos. No one is forced to go to the school. Next i was there with my daughter NO TEACHER measured. That is the girls mother measuring. Just like in a dress store they have the tznius ruler. They had rulers there for the parents to measure as the school asks it shld not be longer then 4 inches. When i was at the uniform they also measured 4 inches below the kneee and 4 inches above the ankle. The mistake here is that it went viral and poeple are assuming its the teacher measuring. If all the girls in klal yisroel wld be zocheh to have such an incredible loving warm school for their girls we would all be in a better place. And i could 100 percent assure everyone if a girl came to school with hair too long the principal wld put her and around the girls shoulder tell her how much she loves her and in the waremest nicest way ask her if she thinks she cld cut it a little.
One thing is sure, this writer has no moral ethics. While the rabbis behind this school don’t hide behind the cloak of the internet, the writer is a coward, he won’t publish his name. Even more, While the Rabbis behind this school are approachable, where you can raise a point with them, which would be appropriate, this coward doesn’t even provide them with an address to approach him (inappropriate to expect the rabbis to come and beg this disgraced writer for time to explain their side).
Did this disgraced writer even think about what goes on with lice checking? How about writing about this nits checking in which a girl with nits gets sent home, that’s even more shamefull!
Perhaps this writer has an issue with hair length and not with lice/nits due to his view of hair as a “unnecessary chumra”? Perhaps in ellul he found it necessary to slander rabbis without even verifying they know about this? How about the writer is missing part of the story? Is it possible that the parents sending their kids to this school trying to change their viewpoint of halacha to suit his biases? Shame on the editors for publishing this article in ellul. Ywn shouldn’t be a venue when trying to get even with a yeshiva. Perhaps these rules were in place prior to these students enrolling to this school and agreeing to the schools interpretation of halacha? Shame Shame Shame. I’m mocha! Ywn staff and this writer owe an apology and retraction.
A kesiva vchasima tova for all of ywn staff, this writer, all ywn readers and all of kllal yisroel. we want moshiach now!
@joe shmoe “the writer is a coward, he won’t publish his name”
You mean like YOUSELF?
Typical Lakewood faker.
Avraham & El Rushbo – I’m making a girl school in Fakewood. But the only thing is all the girls need to do is to have a triple zero.
Will you send your daughters?!?
If the parents will stand up and demand change then maybe something like this wouldn’t happen. Most of the time parents are afraid to rock the boat.
can’t just send anywhere else, its not so simple to just switch kids around and besides not like there are 400 elementary schools. Second of all – to those dismissing the criticism as knee jerk hatred or axe to grind – please consider the possibility that maybe its from people that can’t voice their views and are made to shut up and put up with the school imposing whatever they want. how can you see this as different from china communist everyone looking the same or any communist country where they strip you of personality and individuality? making everyone the same so no one stands out may be tzniusdig in a controlled environment – but its a legitimate argument to say this isn’t good chinuch and kids recognize that it doesn’t reflect reality and mandating it serves to undermine your attempt at chinuch. why does every other perspective need to be dismissed out of hand? chas v’shalom you should look in a mirror and see what the outside sees
I happen to have grandchildren in this girls school. They are doing an amazing job with the girls and are filling the girls with a lot of warmth and love for yiddishkeit. Whom ever took the video probably didn’t realize that this is Motzoi Sham Ra and portraying any Torah institution in a bad light is wrong. If you don’t like the rules then send to any other school.
This school has very fine, upstanding mechanchim who go way above there means to make sure the girls are mentally and emotionally well balanced. Not abusive at all.
These critics are usually the ones that want to have a lifestyle on a certain … level of yiddishkeit but their kids they want to send to the BEST schools that are usually on a different level and then they clash or they don’t get accepted and the whole world is at fault. ( I have never seen a Satmer or any other ultra chasidish for example sending to a modern school and then have complaints why they don’t do like the Satmer school what they do they make their own schools)
Again if you don’t like the rules get together a group of parents open a school with your standards
ehrlich:
I have no clue which school this is, nor do I care. The issue is that matters that are truly trivial to chinuch are artificially cast as requirements for admission or continued attendance in the school. Nowhere would any of these mechanchim or mechanchos tolerate being held to any standards of quality or anything else to keep their jobs. The Mishna יהי כבוד תלמידך חביב עליך כשלך is all but proclaimed to be heresy.
Your last statement “Again if you don’t like the rules get together a group of parents open a school with your standards” is really irritating. The assumption is that the parents are here to serve the schools, not vice versa. That means the parents are the true עוסקי בצרכי ציבור, while the yeshivos are the private enterprises. That is inconsistent with the messages these mosdos all broadcast as the reason they should get charitable donations and public support – that they are the עוסקי בצרכי ציבור. So, which is it? Do the yeshivos make the effort to serve the population, or does the population need to qualify by adhering to requirements that are mostly arbitrary and unrelated to chinuch? You can’t have it both ways.
Has anyone answered why is the sheitel allowed to be more than 4″? I also saw the video, it doesn’t seem like a parent is checking. Also WHY IS MAKEUP ALLOWED THEN? How about excessive jewelry? Why aren’t teachers and principals banned from that? It’s also too much and not tznius..
to all those saying a school is allowed to have rules if you don’t like the rule don’t send there since when is a snood more tzinusdig y is the teacher in a snood obviously the whole system in the school itself is corrupt
Also there is ways to inforce rules this is million percent child abuse if you argue that not you should have child services see if you are capable of raising children
One girl asked her mother at a mandatory nit check if her hair was within the allowed school guidelines. So, to humor her, they measured her hair. Yes, this school has guidelines for hair length. No, they do not line the girls up and measure their hair or publicly shame those whose hair is too long. Shame on the letter writer and shame on the editor for spreading fake news or as halacha calls it motsi shem ra.
To apusharayid. I saw the letter . It says your hair will be measured at lice check. I have a copy of the letter. It’s 100% true. I wish I knew how to copy it here.
Proud parent – you are clearly lying because I saw the video and the lady holds the ruler and says “next” and measures another two girls. You’re nothing but a fraud. The problem is is that you are too happy to have your kids in the school that many have a hard time getting into. You are terrified to death to say anything even at the expense of your own children self-esteem. These mechanchos are to be ashamed of their selves ,look at that poor mother in the video looking at her daughter trying to see her expression on her face to make sure her daughter is still breathing when it’s her turn to have her hair measured. This is what happens with a superficial monkey see monkey do hashkafa.grow up!! Be real and quit the exteriors and teach your children to cherish and love being part if the am hanivchar. My daughter was mortified seeing the video and couldn’t stop thinking about those poor girls who went through this humiliating shameful experience to the point that when her friend came home from getting checked she ran inside the house in order not to embarrass her.I really embarrassment to this wonderful town we live in.what a tragedy pretty soon all schools will follow suit just because… What a shame what a pity.
Were you at nit checking with your daughter?
People!!! Don’t believe everything you see on social media! Don’t you realize you are seeing just a tiny piece and don’t know what you’re talking about? I was there! I am a proud mother of kids in this fantastic school. The woman measuring is the mother of the girls. She is checking each of her girls, hence it looks like she’s checking a few. The woman sitting was not measuring anyone! If a girls hair was longer than the 4″ past the shoulder, she suggested the parent measure to see how much the school would like her to cut. Everyone is making a huge deal over something that’s not the biggest deal! Yes maybe the ruler made the whole thing look somewhat degrading but having been there it was so nothing.
Nothing compared to the wrong that is being done here and on social media. Stop the bashing, stop the judging.
i was equally shocked, but no matter what actually transpired, it is clear that the girls were being “measured” for whatever reason in a “humiliating fashion”. The school should state their policy clearly, and if a child is in violation of a particular rule, the principal should meet with the parent privately. these girls are all moving their hair in a very self conscious way. “hair length check” should not be equated with “lice check” which is clearly was in this case. its not proper chinuch in my humble opinion.
Wow, when did this web site become TheModoxWorld.
Tsk tsk, ellul zman people!
Apparently most people commenting on ywn is דעת בעל הבית Which ftr is worthless. Gn eo. 😀
If you look at the picture, the girl’s skirt is a lot less tznius than her hair! It outlines her body totally! Also, the MARRIED lady with the snood has her hair showing. That is in direct opposition to halacha. It is not subjective, as the length of a girl’s hair.
If you are insisting on a specific length of hair, it is only reasonable that the teachers, principals, ALL school employees and mothers adhere to the same rule. Otherwise, you will have “Tofasto meruba lo tofasto” and you will lose some girls totally. I wonder who paskened this rule for this school. Or was it just decided by a committee.
Kopshtick. When did normal yeshiva lifestyle become modox? “Tsk tsk elul elul” it is people like you who label and discount the opinions of those that you disagree with that need to do a real cheshbon hanefesh during elul. Stop and think where all these so called “chumrahs” are leading our community to.
Thank you YWN and thank you lettee writer. It is time for the moderate middle of the yeshiva world to stand up and be heard. Enough of the intimidation by the right wing element of our community.
So from a one minute clip where none of the girls seem distressed in any way, we have keyboard wielding professionals giving the verdict that this is %100 abuse! Puleeze! This is the frum left manifestation, of social justice warriers. Relax! This was their way of enforcing an objective rule, without having to arfue about subjective details. So they made a rule that can be messured to avoid arguments. Chill nothing happened.
Health,
I don’t have my kids in schools that require baldies. That’s not my Derech. I have a choice not to send my kids to such a school. If your kids , I mean your in general not necessarily you, cannot handle the Derech if a school, please please please look elsewhere.
As for your sickening comment about the township name, it tells me that you are very jealous of the Torah and mitzvos that goes on there. Perhaps you need to look at yourself to see what YOU need to do in order to improve your Torah u’Mitzvos.
I haven’t posted here in about 10 years, but I am just so disgusted, I can’t hold myself back. Whether or not you agree with what this school is supposedly doing, whether or not this was taken out of context, you are ignoring the fact that someone took a video of people without their knowledge and sent it around, causing it to become viral. That is the real issue here, in my opinion, that has got to be stopped! I hope the school finds out who this photographer was, and holds her accountable. Imagine this poor lady running out of her house in a snood for a quick lice check, and her video is being viewed and judged all over the world. Imagine it would happen to you. Yes, none of you is perfect and I’m sure some of your actions could be judged unfavorable by “the internet” or taken out of context.
As my 16 year old daughter put it: “Rules are okay, rulers are not!”
Clever girl…
El Rushbo: ditto, except that there are no “baldies” in school (only married chassidishe women), nor this is a nice term to use. Yet, I understand your meaning. And again, as I said before, much Erev Rav around here…
I am not in the know about this particular school, nor about the specifics of this case. However, I believe this viral video does serve to raise an issue that warrants public discussion. It is sad that many of the commenters here get personal with their debate. There is a real problem involved, and Klal Yisroel needs to see it resolved. The problem is that what might be assumed to be an improvement of our generation over previous ones is really a yeridah.
I must take issue with joeshmoe’s daughter who proclaimed that rules are okay. Some probably are. But many are not. They serve the egos of the mosdos and their leaders, and accomplish nothing for Klal Yisroel. They put kids out onto the street, deny needed education, and are basically not part of chinuch. Rules control; they do not teach. Well prepared lessons teach. There are people who can teach tznius. And there are also brazen violations that require control. Once we are up to measuring, we have crossed the line. Recognizing tznius or the lack of it should be relatively easy. The “nitpicking” about hair length is not informative or educational, and has no relationship to the desperate needs for kedusha in Klal Yisroel. There is no school that can provide a rationale that hair of 3.99 inches is more tzniusdig than 4.05. So, I ask – for whom are the rules made? Who benefits?
This is insane. I couldn’t agree more with the writers who comment on the teachers’ length of sheitels, tight, short, just-just clothing, the excessive and flashy jewelry and the caked-on makeup. And let’s not forget the nail polish, even pale stuff. Hypocrites. In my opinion as a mother, & grandmother of girls in the Chassidishe and Beis Yaakov school systems, the important thing is their hair is tied up , off their faces, and neat. Sometimes they wear braids, sometimes ponies. But woe betide any school that measures their hair… my daughters & daughters-in-laws would make such a fuss and I’d wade in too.
Dear Rebetzin, I’m sure the ladies who were in the room know who took the video. She had to be there, too.
Almost all schools, in all cultures, have grooming and dress codes. Usually they deal with such matters as health and safety, a desire to encourage a certain image for the school, or a desire to preclude animosity among students. These matters have no relevance to halacha (assuming that the school doesn’t ban something that halacha requires, such as bannng boys from wearing yarmulkes). The halachic issue is whether the halacha prohibits the managers of the school from using their authority as school administrators to issue the grooming and dress code.
Notice how the coments defending this school tend to resort to name calling to attack those that question these new found so called “chumrahs”. Kopshick labels dissenters as “modox” Stupidpeople haughitly refers to them as “daas baal habayis” and Rav Avraham calls them “erev rav”. What is clear is that those that cannot argue on substance prefer to name calling and that is why the author of this article is not a coward for posting anonymously. If the writer would post his/her name he/she would undoutbly be subject to the vitriol of the kanayim who excel in charecter assassination. That is why so many in our community allow these so called “chumrahs” to take hold without protest. They are afraid of being labeled as left wing or modern. They are scared of ruining shiduchim for their kids so they let the extreme elements push their agenda unchallenged. Enough is enough.
Notice how the comments attacking this school tend to resort to low level of halachic standards, not to mention a great lack of deeper Torah aspects, whereas amei haaretz commonly refer to as “the so called chumras”….. yes, Erev Rav. Go study what that means! Enough is enough.
The challenge is to identify the primary topic of concern. Seems to me the main concern is the “public” nature, and, whether or not any specific child was damaged “this time”, it is something that is just so open to abuse, and is such a bad example (of how to things) to set in front of the children. I find it really strange (to say the least) that someone would argue that the only reason the measurement was taken at this time was because a mother insisted on measuring her daughter and asked for a rule. There was no ruler at home?
There are also other problems, and certainly a most basic problem with any “chumrah” is that it always includes an implicit “kullah”. So the Talmud I remember states a warning about taking special care and consideration of the female’s feelings.
To Rebitzen. Your main concern is that a woman was wearing a snood. Is the world coming to an end??? Oh no!!!! Help. Hold on tight. A woman was caught wearing a tznius snood. You are so silly ” Rebitzen”. The problem is that a child’s hair is being measured to check the length. The “horror” that you mentioned is stupid. The school is being hypocritical, the sheitels are longer by the mother and office staff. There is also makeup and jewelry being worn. Double standards..
Rav Avrohom: What “low level” of halachik standards are you referring to? Are you aware of a halachik standard that demands measuring of girls hair? There is absolutely no halachik standard that demands this. Again you slander without basis which just proves the point that I made above.
To Common sense person: Nice try, but speaking of taking things out of context… I myself wear a snood or tichel 99.99% of the time, so obviously that is not my concern. My concern is that it’s become so accepted to take videos and pictures of people without their knowledge and publicize them. The fact that no one else seems to be concerned just shows how prevalent and accepted it’s become. Despite my “rebetzin” name (I created this account more than a decade ago and the name was a joke), I don’t know what halacha or the law says about this, but to me, I just can’t get over the chutzpa.
I know a lot of people are bothered by the fact that this was done publicly, but honetly, even though I can see how imposing fake new chumros, may turn children off. I am bothered much more by the fact that they are changing halachah and mesorah with false chumros shebadu milibam.
Yes, I hear there is someone who made a pilpul and came up with this chumrah, but this was not a new shaalah that came up. Since kabalas HatoRah girls have had hair, and it was never accepted halacha that their is a significance in the different length of a girls hair. This is not a new shaalah like electricity was, or crock pots etc.
If you willingly send your children to a school whose rabbonim and askanim authorize this kind of abusive behavior (and most rational observers, even among the usual chumrah crowd seem to agree it was borderline abusive), than you have to step back and consider whether the school is teaching the same toras moshe we learned in yeshiva or whether they have created their own dark world where they will squash the spirit of these young neshamas and grind down their ahavas torah and lead ultimate to more OTD kids with a Lakewood zip code.
Crazykanoiy, thank you kindly for your opinion. BH there are others, which take into account halacha and minhagim, and kabbalah etc. Yet, as I have stated, often the posts here, when faced with issues that go beyond basic halacha, tend to be highly critical, using harsh language as well. This is because of the hashkafa here being what it is: predominantly litvish. There are other deeper levels of understanding (da’as eliyon), which true, signify more of these “so called chumras”, but also, a more intense desire to go beyond the oved Hashem level towards being a ben Hashem. For that, there is a need to study much more than one would think and generally know. These are not simply words; they carry deep meaning to those who understand. True, for “opposers”, there are meaningless. So be it, this is very old machlokes. Kol tuv. Signing off…
I am very happy to see that a school is making sure that rules are kept. It is very healthy for children to see that rules and guidelines are taken seriously.
Rav Avrohom: Attributing a different opionion to being litvish is a good start. Definitely better than labeling those that you disagree with as antisemetic, amei haaretz and erev rav. (Talk about “harsh comments”) However your insinuation that Litvishe people are not on the level of so called “ben hashem” is particularly repulsive. Perhaps it would be good to remember that Lakewood is a Litvishe Yeshiva town and that R’Ahron was not a rebbe. Ultimately you have not provided any sources to substantiate the name calling that you threw around and have just provided some vague ideas and concepts wothout any real source or tochen. Claiming that you are privy to some undisclosed “deep meaning” just wont cut it.
I once heard a story from a yid in Yerushalayim:
Someone went over to a yerushalmi yid who had long payos, and in a confrontational way “Why do you need to have long payos? You don’t fit in. Do you have a higher standard of frumkeit than everyone else?! Where in Shulchan Aruch does it say it needs to be that long?!”
He replied, “When you have something valuable in an area and you want to keep out predators, you put barbed wire around the area. My long payos is my barbed wire to keep people like you away from what I have inside and not to be an influence.”
I don’t know this exact situation, but if I had a school with such rules and the rules were specified by someone who can put anyone here to shame in a debate about halacha and hashkafa (but does not care to prove a point to a bunch of am ha’aratzim who post their own opinions as if they’re in the league to have a debate with rabbanim who are light years ahead of them), none of the comments here (or anywhere) would get me nervous in the least and I would not respond to a thing. To the contrary, I would be happy about the separation it’s causing and keeping such people away.