PG
” happen to think that reform is not a viable option. Reform is NOT the same thing as becoming MO and wearing a blue shirt and getting an accounting degree or whatever,”
I agree one hundred percent. And (probably) most chasidim would agree if you asked that way (im not sure, but Many if not most would agree)
The bottom line is that is the received message
For example there are some chassidus that believe Zionism is yaharog Ve’al yaavor. (this is a non-controversial stament and an argument about zionism is completely irrelevant to this thread) Now imagine someone from that community gets caught up in Zionism and for whatever reason is swayed by Zionist Arguments (maybe from the coffee room). He was taught all his life that the beliefs he now accepts are yeharog ve’al yaavor. Whether that was meant literal yor not is completely irrelevant. He has now embraced a belief that he was taught is among the worst avaira possible. Is there any wonder if he decides that he might as well not keep kosher?
Again of course if he would ask his chasidish parents,”Hi I am zionist now, do you think I should still keep Kashrus?” They would likely say yes. But that isnt usually how people leave their upbringing. And as they start to leave it sint like their parents will say “ITs ok that you are zinoist now just be sure to keep all the other mitzvos” Nor should they be saying that, they woudl (rightly!) do everything possible to keep their child on their derech.
It is the same for college or as ZD says even changing the LEvush. Chasisim were able to keep their strong mesora, precisely by elevating it to such a degree. However IT does come with a cost . And I am by no means judging whether that cost is worth it or not, but it is there.