When my daughter was starting high school, someone called me about a regular normal girl who couldn’t get into high school. Parents were yeshivish so they were only willing to consider 2 or 3 schools as they felt that those were the only ones where she could fit in (I did agree that religious standard wise one of those would be the most appropriate choice). For some reason, none of these schools were willing to take her. Could I please call the administrator and speak to him about this girl. I happen to have known the girl. She was with my daughter at one point and was not emotionally healthy girl and formed a very unhealthy attachment with my daughter. I eventually broke up the friendship when I saw how my daughter was suffering from it and that she was unable to extricate herself. I later found out that my daughter experience with this girl was not an isolated incident. Needless to say I did not call the school to advocate on her behalf. Did the girl need a school? Definitely! Would I have pulled my daughter from the school if she was excepted? Of course not! Maybe I would have requested that they not be in the same class. The girl ultimately went out of Lakewood for a school (which was a ma’aleh probably since it could be a large portion of the issue was family dynamics) and is doing very well.
So what’s my point? If you asked the lady who called me she would tell you about a regular normal girl who no one was willing to take. If you asked her parents what would they say? My daughter was in an unhealthy family environment leading to her social/emotional issues? Of course not! I’m sure they don’t even realize that. What do you think the schools told them? Space, scholastics, I don’t know but I’m sure not the truth. So they tell their good friend reb yid their story and he is all up in arms because how could the school possibly……and everyone in all the administrators and those involved in the acceptance process are all reshoim and in the meantime we see/know a fraction of the real story even when we hear/see the story first hand.
But everyone with a story is automatically believed after all they know PERSONALLY and no one stops to be dan lchaf zechus that there is another side of the story.