Israellakewood:
This letter and story read Lakewood. Reality is that this occurs almost constantly in the mainstream mosdos of Brooklyn, and I suspect Monsey. The attitude of the average yeshiva is מה לי לצרה הזאת. Let someone else deal with this “problem”. You are correct that this would be highly rare out of town.
2scents:
You ask if there is any behavior that warrants other parents putting their foot down. My humble opinion – NO. The acceptance or rejection of a student is purely the responsibility and authority of the yeshiva administration. If they reject, they need to have a valid reason for this. If they accept, no other parent has the jurisdiction to intervene or interfere. If they wish to pull out their children, they are certainly free to do so. But to manipulate a yeshiva is plainly immoral. In addition, the yeshiva is required to know something about their applicants prior to admission. It is presumed that they have the ability to collect enough information and to make a responsible judgment about the appropriateness of the admission. Parents lack the resources to know enough and to have the judgment. There is also an assumption by the parents that they know what will transpire in the yeshiva with the other child present. That is extremely conceited.
Chaver:
The issue here is not about bashing principals. It is making an observation that what has become common practice can have deadly consequences. Even with less blood spilled, the destruction that such a rejection has on one’s emotional life is unfathomable. Picture this happening to your own child ch”v. You would be going nuclear. It is undeniable that what occurred here was a serious injustice.
Avi K:
You assume that this committed suicide, and that this indicates that she already suffered from emotional problems. You are not seeing the entire picture. I happen to know many young people like this. The pain of such rejection is enough to cause severe depression. The OTD problem has its roots in rejection. Being thrown to the street without recourse is a major blow, one that many struggle to recover from. Our Gedolim continually tell us that we need to be accepting and loving, but the “holier than thou” attitude that perpetuates rejection always wins. The losses of neshamos are great, whether their bodies remain alive or not. Someone with perfect mental health that gets this level of rejection is a prime candidate for the steep slope down. The rejector gives that push. The kid started off healthy.