Free verse is free verse, and tigers are a gift. 🐅🎁

There are some things in life that unite all real men. It doesn’t matter how tall or short you are, or how old or young. It doesn’t matter how many years you went to school, or what you do for a living. What matters is the number of stripes on your backyard pet.
Zebras, it can be argued, also have a number of stripes. However, while zebras have stripes in their own right, the stripes are not of the quality and sheer ferociousness found on a tiger. Also, zebras come in only one color option, but tigers are available in two. Therefore, a zebra is not a suitable substitute for a big cat.
Tigers are fierce. No longer will your backyard be plagued with deer who only want to eat your flowers and apples. Tigers are carnivores that will leave your plants intact and will instead feast upon the creatures that come to destroy your garden.
You call them dangerous. That is indeed true. But danger is your middle name. If not, go change it. Take risks. Live life. Don’t be the man who lives to be a hundred and dies regretting only that he never took chances, always erred on the safe side, never knowing the joy of having a tiger as a pet. Take the leap. Invite a tiger into your life.
Financial concerns may also present themselves, but you can easily charge a fee of admission into your home for visitors to look upon your majestic tiger. People may feel jealous when they see that you have been blessed with the presence of a tiger, but you can offer to make their backyard home to a cub, for a small fee that will cover your rent. When your neighbors become afraid for their lives, you can purchase their homes from them for a low price and raise yet more tigers. This makes tigers a sound financial decision.
In conclusion, though few American families currently have tigers as backyard pets, they are the most striped of all the big cats and therefore the greatest of all pets. A real man will always have a tiger as his pet, and a lack of tigers means a lack of manliness.