One time I was offered something at work that was cholov stam, and the lady showed me the OU-D and said, ‘See? It’s kosher. You can eat it.” How does one explain himself out of such a situation?
Say, “I’m fleishig.” She’ll understand.
For the OP, I totally understand the struggle; I find benching to be the hardest, but there’s no heter to just not say brachas. In fact, the Misnah Berura says you should be more brazen with your mitzvos around secular society and more humble and kept to yourself around fellow Jews. I’m not calling you out for the situation you described as I think 90%+ of the frum world also gets it backwards.