Bottom line is as you yourself pointed out elsewhere: if something is considered l”h and you think that it may be permissible in a particular case because it’s l’toeles, you have to ask a sheilah. Certainly, before posting something online (something that is brought down as being assur), one would have to ask a sheilah before posting it to find out if all the conditions of toeles apply (and if such a thing is possible in such a setting).
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