1. When I wrote about people meeting in ways other than shidduchim, I didn’t necessarily mean speed-dating. The other options are a) single’s events that don’t involve speed-dating, & b) people having single boys and girls over for the same Shabbos meals. Of the above options, speed-dating are my least favorite, and I think they are the least effective.
2. All three of these are way less draining than regular dating for the following reasons:
a) They are social events, and therefore they are fun. I enjoy meeting people and seeing friends.
It can be very hard for me to find time for dating. I know it’s very important, but so is supporting myself so I can have a roof over my head and food to eat. On the other hand, no matter how pressurred I am, I have to find some time for fun and socializing anyhow because I wouldn’t be able to function otherwise.
b) With regular dating, you have to make a definite commitment that you will be at a certain place at a certain time. With most singles’ event, you don’t have to make a definite commitment. Even if you do, you can usually back at the last minute or at least come late.
c) Even if you have to put the same money, time, and effort into it, you get to meet many people for the same amount of money, time, and effort.
d) If it’s a Shabbos meal, it doesn’t take any time or effort, since that’s something you would be doing anyhow. And there is certainly nothing draining about it – it just makes for a more interesting Shabbos meal with more interesting conversations.