Hi 🙂
Pesach Kasher veSameach!!
the moment i saw the headline i just had to enter and read 😉
I was a yeshiveBucher the classic way…then [of a very legit and understood reasons, not “cand learn etc] left yeshiveh and started working on my computersScience bachelor degree…
i still learn in a Kollel every day, and plans are to stick with it forever BH!
i look like a yeshiveh bocher, and much more frum than many of my yeshiveh buchers friends!
AND, im in shidduchim for about 3 year, dated a lot of girls. 95% of them were too modern for me! the shadchanim think its a good fit only coz im not in a yeshiveh.
Ofc most girls wouldnt dare dating such a guy, right?
thats what i thought, i was so sure ill never find a girl who fits my iddishkeit well enough, and that at some point ill probably settle for a very modern girl, and change the whole shape i wanted my home built.
But then some of my friends, Charedi students just like me got married…after long years in shidduchim too, and to girls whom are not any kind of a settlement!
[from the side of the girls it was also not a settling]
and they told me not to settle…
from this (our) point of view- dating a lot of girls without finding a good fit- its such a hard thing to believe in, i know because its so hard for me.
but i understand that, even if our way\path is very very long -we will still also arrive at our destination in the end.
so i dont think u should give up!!
stick to what u believe in!! Hashem knows your worth! dont forget that.
eventually, u come with a guarantee! u r what u r because u chose it! and not because thats how all ur friends are, or because the whole yesiveh are, or whatever stupid reasons sometimes keep ppl the way they are.
best luck 🙂