Reply To: The Wicked Son, and the Kiruv System

LU: Yekke2 – do you really have friends who seem to be reshaim? That is so sad.

Do I have friends who seem to be reshaim? No, I b”H don’t. But people who were friends of mine (not close friends, but friendly acquaintances) have moved on since the days that we were friends, r”l. I still daven for them to come back.

Wondering how you got to be friends with them in the first place. I guess it’s the generation.

I have quite a large range of friends, for the better and for the worse. I might seem extreme right wing on the CR, where discussions are theoretical, but I guess I’m much nicer a person in real life, and have friends of all shapes and sizes in different social circles.

In England, you don’t have the luxury of not meeting people at risk. In America, there is enough demand to tailor-make Yeshivas designed for each type of person, and you can rate yourself and find a Yeshiva that works. In London, there just isn’t the demand because the community is much smaller. There are three schools which cater exclusively for the Shomer Shabbos oilom, meaning that even if you go to the frummest of the three, you are bound to have people there who you wouldn’t want to expose yourself to.

Are you sure that they don’t have issues that you don’t know about? People who work with kids who are OTD say that a huge percentage have been abused. That’s something that you wouldn’t necessarily be aware of.

Am I positively sure? No. But in some of the cases, I have spoken to the Rabbanim and therapists involved, and I have been assured (to the surprise of some of the aforementioned professionals) that it was simply Yetzer Hara – some of them Yetzer Hara deZnus and others Yetzer Hara De’Avoida Zara (which apparently does exist today in the form of Atheism, if not in the form of pagan idolatory). I’d be very surprised to hear that it was abuse.

I don’t know why today every criminal is simply a חולה. Is there not such a thing as a Yetzer Hara? There are enough Gemaras about the Yetzer Hara that I don’t need to bother quoting. Everyone has one. B”H, most of us are עומד על נסיון, some/most of the time. But laziness, taivah and peer pressure can do terrible things to someone who needs that extra bit of freedom. Not every עבירה can be blamed on psychological trauma!