<i>This is against the advice of all the big chinuch experts these days</i>
I’ve never heard any Godal B’Torah say that someone who went OTD and is currently mocking Yidiskeit deserves unconditional love.
<i>Because it’s not effective? Or do you think that even though it is effective, it is wrong to show חניפה to Oivrei Aveirah? </I>
Actually both. I think it’s not effective and it is wrong to show חניפה to Oivrei Aveirah.
I’ve heard people say that had they grown up today with all the acceptance, validation, understanding etc shown to the OTD crowd and rebellious children they would not have remained frum.
I’ve also heard someone who did grew up today (recently) comment that she would have went off had not a certain person told her inter alia “No one will blame you and everyone will sympathize with you if you go off. But it is you will receive the reward if you don’t and the punishment if you do”